Triggering (SI) - Give me strength

fragiledollface · 14-06-2007, 03:40 AM

One year and a half ago or so, well, October 15, 2005, I said to myself that I would stop cutting. I practically did until a heated fight between my ex boyfriend and ex girlfriend occured which made me cut deeply in my right ankle. Yeah, that was May of 2006 and now, June 10th I did it again. Why? I still don't know. But I am in the need of strength. I need to be strong and not do it again. Why did I do it? And why do I still want to do it again and again and again? Is like before, once I began to cut, I just couldn't stop. Nothing could stop me except for myself. Now days the pain is numb. I don't feel a thing. I don't want to feel, but I end up feeling the guilt that comes after each slash in my body. What can I do?

Ellie <3

annihilate_me · 14-06-2007, 05:13 AM

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to! Stay strong!

Buttercup. · 15-06-2007, 03:09 AM

I'm here if you want to talk. *cuddles*

You can do this, you are so strong.

Jess xx

fragiledollface · 15-06-2007, 11:39 PM

thanks to Rx and Jess for listening to me. I'm still in the downer and to really make it worse I cut again today. It's hard to get out of here. So easy to fall back after a year or year and a half, but really hard to get back up and recover or even attempt to recover. Relapsing is just too easy. It hurts so much to disappoint others and myself. Sorry everyone.

xoxo,
Ellie <3