I've tried to stop SI SO MANY times!!!! but I've never found a method which works....
for example:
many people say to make little goals for myself... like I won't cut today... then I won't cut for a week... then I won't cut for a month... etc etc
but somehow this really doesn't work for me...
because if I don't cut for a week and acheive my goal.. then I think "now what?"
and I also have this problem with when we are fully "recovered"
coz if i'm constantly setting goals then when would I move from "recovering" to "recovered?"
i know I'm being difficult.... but it bothers me if I will never be "recovered" and will always be "recovering" as there is no clear goal...
so i was wondering whether anyone could think of good ways to try and stop?! or maybe answers to my questions!!!
sorry I ranted!
xxxxxx
As a little kid you believed in fairytales,
that fantasy of what your life would be: white dress; prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You closed your eyes and had complete and utter faith.
Eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairytale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,
that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
Ii know its really cliche, but URGES DO PASS, they will go away after a while. You just need to keep busy.
Throwing away my tools has helped tons, otherwise i would have cut tonight. Knowing that i cant, because i dont have anything to do it with makes me think "whats the point then - i cant exactly"
sorry this probaably isnt helpful but im really tirednad thats what helped me today x
Don't know if I can provide answers, but can tell you that it gets easier. I couldn't see that there would ever be a time when I didn't SI, snd have now been a year free. I wouldn't say I was recovered, as I still have the urges, but I just don't want to act on them anymore. (That's not to say I never will as it's a part of me), but as the time went by, it didn't even occur to me to do it, and it has been a part of my life for 8 years, so I don't say that lightly.
I know that doesn't really answer your questions but hopefully will provide some hope for you??
thank you -- i've tried throwing away tools....
well giving them to my friend coz i wasn't ready to throw them away....
but i swear i just keep finding more in my room!
As a little kid you believed in fairytales,
that fantasy of what your life would be: white dress; prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You closed your eyes and had complete and utter faith.
Eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairytale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,
that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
Hey,
I'm in this stage too. I've been SI free for 2 weeks but getting here's been REALLY hard. Personally, throwing away tools is too big a step for me. I still have everything but I just try my damnest not to use them. I think the only tip I can give you is avoid situations that trigger you. I know with me that stress triggers me REALLY badly so when I find myself getting to that place I walk away and calm myself down or, if it's too late and I find myself triggered I do an activity with someone (ie. at work I'll do some work with one of my team, at home I'll go for a long walk with the dog/mum.).
I think the best thing I can say really is that if you're ready to give up, truely ready, then it will be a lot easier to surpass the urges because you'll know deep down that you dont need to and that it is just part of the habit you've gotten yourself into.
Make a "safe box" and fill it with things to remind you why you want to stop and alternatives. Mine has a few coloring books and crayons, loads of red nail polish and pens (long story), pictures of my best friends, letters and notes from people that are full of positive encouragement, a few stuffed bears to snuggle, tissues for crying, and a stress ball.
I try to avoid things that I know will trigger me, and if an urge sneaks up I have a contact list of people I can call or text. It's a big thing for me - if I tell someone I'm having urges I'm less likely to act on them because I know that they're going to do a check-in the next day to see how I'm doing.
Also, I'm on here helping others when I can. Just knowing that I'm not alone in this fight is a big comfort, and it's really empowering when I can see others making it through the exact same situations I was struggling with.
Everyone has been there some point or another. I'm recovering too, month and a few days cut free. Its hard.
Do you have anyone you can just talk to?
A friend. Someone you love?
It helps to vent to someone.
Throwing things away never helped me. Instead I've given my tools to someone I love and trust. They're there in your reach if you want them. Instead of just gone.
It may seem strange, but I've heard if you write on yourself with a red pen or red paint for those times you just want to bleed, it kinda helps. I tried it and it helps me sometimes. Maybe it could help you.
I guess you'll know if you're recovered when you no longer have the urge.
I haven't cut for probably about 5 months now. I'm not trying to recover and i still think about it but one day i just though to myself "how is this going to help me?". At the minute that works for me. The urges really do get better, they ease, i still have them but i just try to occupy myself in other ways, especially at nights. I might read a book, go on the internet, write something, watch t.v. anything to stay busy.
To me the line of recovering to recovered is this... You are recovering when you still need to set goals for x amound of time you want to remain SI free. 'Recovered' is when you can still have the thoughts of cutting but they arent overwhelming urges- more like passing thoughts. I don't believe in a set amount of time when you are recovered, its just when it doesnt consume you- in my opinion.
I've made the same mistake over and over with quitting because yes I can physically stop doing it, but I dont consider that recovering if I havent replaced it with a healthier way so that I won't revert back to it in the future.
Have you tried dealing with the reasons you do it? Quitting isnt just about stopping the actual act, it's about learning better ways to dealing with your emotions and things that trigger you. Click on the link in my signature, you might find it slightly helpful- also have you read through the advice articles? Maybe something in there might be of help to you.
Take care
Every time you get up and get back in the race,
One more small piece of you starts
To fall into place
thank you everyone SO MUCH for all your advice and support. THANK YOU you have been so helpful...
I do call my friend when I feel triggered but sometimes I feel like i am REALLY burdening her, especially when I can call her so many times a night, every night, even when i've just seen her at school...
she welcomes me to call her with open arms... but i always still feel a bit of a burden...
*sigh*
As a little kid you believed in fairytales,
that fantasy of what your life would be: white dress; prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You closed your eyes and had complete and utter faith.
Eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairytale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,
that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
When I first decided enough was enough I was looking in a mirror at my mangled arms and realised "This isn't how a 15 year old should be living" You deserve to be living without self-harm, I know I'm only 3 months free. But darling, it's honestly easier without self-harm!
If you're going for forever then I suggest you dispose of your sharps. You'll never know how many times I've stayed free because my local pharmacy has closed and I can't get any razors, or I don't have any money, or I'm at school etc. etc. Do it! Do it now!
Tell people you're giving it up for good. You'll loose the feeling that you can hide it and nobody will have to know. If you cut they'll know and you'll have upset them majorly. My boyfriend's crying, yelling when I slipped up has kept me cut free for at least three months. Since then I've intended to never cut myself again.
Tell yourself that you'll never slip up. I did, and of course, I slipped up.
I know here they tell you that slipping up is very natural. **** that. Cutting yourself is wrong. It's may be a coping mechanism, but it'll be the only one that'll end up getting you arrested or commited. It's wrong. The sooner you realise that nothing about cutting is natural, the sooner you'll realise you need to stop it.
Buy scar reduction patches. They're like bandages which cost £20.00 you can't cut yourself with them on and you won't rip them off to hurt yourself because they cost so much. Also how people look at you on the street will remind you how normal people view self-harmers. They see it as an act only an insane person would commit. Not something you'd like to be remembered for really. It's a good reason to stop.
I know some of my suggestions may seem a bit nazi-like. But believe me if you make a line, self-harm is bad, recovery will be easier.
And do you have a diary, usually when I'm burdened I'll write in my diary and I'll write so much I'll just be too tired to do anything. Exercise, run around and around. Then sleep :)
