Going to NY in 2 weeks and so worried.

[Dee]

So me and my mum and going to buffalo ny to see my friend and her new baby Ryan in a little under 2 weeks now. Staying in an hotel down the road from her. I last saw her a year ago. I am looking forword to seeing her so much an Ryan. She has BPD as well as me and was a cutter to. The only thing is.....

...... Since she has had Ryan. She don't cut no more. But i still do not as much but i do. Last time i saw her my arms were good and clean. But now there covered not in cuts thank god but some little red scars and some big red scars. I'm worried she/her family/other people. Will see the scars and really hate me. And see me with Ryan and think i'm a treat to him or something but i ain't i wouldn't hurt a fly. She has a new boyfriend living with her not Ryans daddy. And i really don't do well with guys at all. I've seen pics of him and ryan. I'm worried i'll mess up with Ryan i'm not good at holding little babies.

I'm sorry i'm just very worried i mess this trip up so bad.

[crazykat]

Wow I can't believe how similar your situation is to what mine was about a year ago. My friend was a former cutter but stopped just before she had her baby. I went through very similar feelings that you are going through right now.

Its natural to feel like this, it sounds like alot of things have happened and have caused things to change between you. Just because circumstances may have changed it doesn't mean that her feelings of friendship, trust etc have changed.

My advice would be to talk to her tho, tell her your fears. I think you will be surprised that she doesn't feel that way about you at all but rather cares about you alot. Also just because she has stopped cutting doesn't mean that things have got magically better for her either. Try not to stress I think she will be more understanding than you think. Just enjoy your time with her it will be ok. Sorry this turned out so long. I'm here if you need to talk. Take care
Kat xxx

[blondiebear]

It should still be cool enough in Buffalo that you can wear long pants and long sleeves w/o questions.

If you're not comfortable holding the baby, just say that you don't know how and are afraid of hurting him. It is better to be safe than sorry. I don't have children and I don't want to pick up any one that is too small to walk.

It will be okay.

[pea soup]

*snuggles*
ive run out of words hunni.
im sorry.
thinking of you.
wishing you the best of time in Buffalo.
much love.
xxxxxxxxx