I don't know why but i both hate and love my scars, and not just my scars, all scars. Sometimes i try to put creams and lotions on my scars to make them heal more, sometimes i hide them under clothes, but a lot of the time i find myself staring at them, picking at them, stretching them, scratching scabs so they'll open up and i can peel back all the newly healed skin to have a better scar. I have thousands of scars, most aren't visible anymore, and i miss them, but i still hate them.
The worst is other people's scars, i sit in class and see a scar on the arm of the kid next to me, i know it was an accident, i was there when it happened, but still, i get jealous, i crave it. i see a friend later in the hall, she reaches up to fix her hair and i see the side of her wrist, an impressive scar hides there, i know she used to cut, and i know that's what it's from and i hate her for it, i want that scar, i need it. i get home at the end of the day almost shaking in jealousy and anger.
I LOVE SCARS
but I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON EARTH for turning me into what i am today
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
i like them. they're always going to be there, even when friends give up on me, they won't. its kinda like they ARE me and when i see them it reminds me of what i've come through and that i CAN get through this.
i dont really know how to describe it and i think that when i eventually stop i will think very differently towards them.
I used to think, and this is during the period when i'd stopped, that i liked them, in the sense that i'd accepted they were a part of me. However that was years ago and now i'm just so self concious of them. There's too many to pass them off as "accidents" its as if i'm walking around with aneon sign that says "freak" :(
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
there are some I really hate (i.e the ones that are visible and I can do nothing about hiding them) but there is one that I did when I realized it's my own responsability for keeping me alive, that I kinda like.
~*~ Courage does not always Roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow~*~
faith_may is my big sister on RYL<3
*Fallen*Stars* is my aunt on RYL <3
Silent is my big sister on RYL <3
Shattered is my little sister on RYL <3
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i hate mine. They stop me having sex (lol) as theyre all over my legs and stomache and its hard to get "intermite"(sp) with someone when your just being self concious, because theyre quite bad, and theyre not faded in the slightest.I cant imagine it being a turn on either, they will probably be turned off and think ughhhhhh
but yeh, other than that i cant see why scars look nice. maybe your jealous of the pain they went through to get it. I dunno! Eeach to their own. xx
love and hate. they are part of me, and remind me of what i have fought my way through, and im proud to still be here. so they are a bit like battle scars to me. but i always hate them because, well, they look horrible and i still find them triggering sometimes.
xx
[center]" I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
The worst is other people's scars, i sit in class and see a scar on the arm of the kid next to me, i know it was an accident, i was there when it happened, but still, i get jealous, i crave it. i see a friend later in the hall, she reaches up to fix her hair and i see the side of her wrist, an impressive scar hides there, i know she used to cut, and i know that's what it's from and i hate her for it, i want that scar, i need it. i get home at the end of the day almost shaking in jealousy and anger.
I love and hate mine. I use to like how they look but now that I went on to cutting my arm I hate them. I'm so scared someone will see them. Last night was the first time ever I thought that the scars were hideous.
^^ why though.. i cant understand! Im not being nasty or anything.. id just like you to explain?
xx
I'm not really sure how to explain, it's like if i see a movie about cutting i want to do it, i hate watching it but it gets me thinking about it, and wiht scars, accidental ones i get jealous of because they have a real reason for being there, you can tell a story about it and people believe you, even if i had that same scar because i had cut i would still believe that my story sounded plausibe or that people wouldnt question somehting so natural looking. when it's someone else's SI that caused a scar i kinda feel like they're stronger than me, i know it's dumb but seeing that someone else cut deeper or in a different place i wish i could've done that but that i'm too much of a wimp, or i want to take away their pain and put it on me, so that they can be happy and healthy.
i guess i both wish i was covered in scars so much that it's like a scary contagious disease that says "broken, stay away" but i also wish that i didnt have so many that i didnt have to explain that i wasnt treated differently.
i dont know if this answers what you're asking, but it's the best i know how to explain.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
I love my scars. That's partly why I'm finding it so hard to stay clean at the minute. All my old scars are fading, and sometimes I want so much to replace them.
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To be honest, I've never been a deep cutter, it's always been many shallow cuts. So scars don't really stay for very long anyway. It's always been a problem of mine.
DarkElvenPrincess i think thats a good thing. Cos sometimes you can never go deep enough and end up doing some real bad damage, so i guess thats good xx
i hate my scars.
they make me remember what i want to forget.
i hate what ive done to my body but its too late now.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
i like te scars on my arms...i can stare at them forever...
but i HATE the scars on my legs...
i dont know why...
Im not ashamed though...
I got really upset when the scars on my arms started to fade..
I like my scars. I spend some minutes everyday staring at them. They're part of me.
Although I'll hate them in a few months when I have to wear t-shirts and my whole school will learn..Yea at that time I'd wish I'd never done them.
''Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end.''
