Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Question about sexual abuse

[theperfectseven]

So I have come here to ask a specific question...

When everyone talks about "sexual abuse" it's usually between an adult and a child. That has never happened to me thankfully. But when I was a kid (between 3-7 years maybe?) I can remember at least 3 instances when a friend pressured me into doing sexual things. One was a year older, one was my age, one was actually younger but was the one who pressured me. In a way it was innocent "curiousity" but I always felt very ashamed about it and would pretend like it didn't happen.

I remember in grammar school we watched one of those videos about how you shouldn't undress for a stranger, etc etc. I had this ashamed feeling like I had been pressured into something before, but I couldn't remember what it was. But I never forget how I felt watching that video, it felt familiar to me somehow, but I couldn't figure it out.

I realize now that those were "games" that I don't have to be ashamed about, and I am not angry at those friends because they didn't fully know what they were doing. BUT I still think they had a very negative effect on me... I was like obsessed with sex as a little kid, my parents say I have major trust issues (have wondered if I was abused but I always told them no), self harm, I have had gender/sexual identity issues. At like 9 years old I thought I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, is that normal??

My question is does this count as abuse? And if so should I tell someone? To be honest it doesn't seem like a big deal if it happened so long ago and I don't know what can be gained by talking about it, but still I wonder if those are some of the reasons for the problems I have now. Sorry this was so long, just wanting to get input. Thanks in advance! :)

Just to clarify: I know that my friends' INTENT was not to abuse me, nonetheless I still FELT abused.

[Lil'MissLaLa]

hi there *hugs* i just want to say tht ure not alone, ive also been in tht position where i didnt no whether it 'counted as abuse' because the other person/persons were not adults. I think tbh tht if it is still affecting ure life now in some way (which it sounds like it is) it is definately worth confiding in someone about it. It doesnt matter how long ago it happened, the main thing is that u will be able to offload some of this - and youre right, it may not help, but it might
what do you have to lose? I'm not saying it'll be easy, quite the opposite, but with support, u can get through this. Whether its classed as abuse or not is irrelevant, wat is relevant is how ure left feeling about it and how it affects u now.
Please look after yourself
much love
Dani
xx

[theperfectseven]

Alright thanks for replying :)

You are probably right; I guess it's just weird because I've always know that that happened to me but never thought of it as "abuse" till recently... I just don't know how I would tell anybody, or who, but that's a whole other story...

[fuser_Indigo]

hmmm, i've felt a bit inbetween bout something myself.
it is strange feeling

[Katch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by theperfectseven

My question is does this count as abuse? And if so should I tell someone? To be honest it doesn't seem like a big deal if it happened so long ago and I don't know what can be gained by talking about it, but still I wonder if those are some of the reasons for the problems I have now. Sorry this was so long, just wanting to get input. Thanks in advance! :)

Hi there,
So many children play these games - and it has different effects on everyone - most kids just grow up and never think about it where-as others like yourself suffer some what. I don't think it is classed as abuse - it's more like kids learning and being interested in the body and the differences. Even though I personally don't think it is abuse I think you should talk to someone about how it has left you feeling - if you could get these feelings sorted it would help you so much in your future. I really wish you the best in finding someone you can talk to about it - in the meantime we are all here and feel free to pm if you want.