Guilt

RandomIdiot · 22-03-2008, 01:11 PM

Ok please bare in mind that what i say in this post is just something i've heard through heresay. My sister B is married with 2 children. She lives with her husband, 2 children and friend K. K is also my sister J's best friend.

Anyway last weekend B had an arguement with her husband. My mum told me that because of this arguement B was going to SU. Now my mum is known for chatting bollocks. So yesterday I saw J and asked if she knew what happened. I didn't wanna ask B herself cause i don't know if she'd be happy with me knowing what happened. Anyway J said that K told her that B was going to kill herself and that she cut.

I can't help feeling a tiny bit responsible, if it's true. I mean i've been cutting since i was 18, B was 13/14 She knows that i cut. So maybe she got it from me. And what if this isn't the first time, and she's been doing it for a while. Is it my fault? Also if it's true obviously i don't want my younger sister doing this. I know what kind of pain she must be feeling. I don't want that for her. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to her about it, cause i'm not supposed to know. J isn't supposed to know. And i know i'd feel really ****ed off if i found out my family knew i cut without me telling them.

madamoiselle · 22-03-2008, 03:04 PM

Hey there. You should not blame yourself for what your sister is doing. Remember that we all had a chance to choose whether to cut or not in the first place. It is a choice that we all made. I think that your sister made that choice without you being the cause behind it. Think how our parents have the tendency to blame themseves because we cut. We know that it is not true but they would probably not buy it. So I think that you are doing the same thing to yourself. As for your sister, I think that she would like some help right now. I'd feel happy to have someone who goes through the same thing to talk to me. I think that your sister would feel the same too. Take care.

Tallie · 22-03-2008, 04:48 PM

Its her choice, not yours and not anyone elses.
Maybe she picked it up from you, but more than likely she knew about SI way before she knew that you did and so the thoughts would have been in her head way before she found out that you SId.

Its natural to blame yourself when things go wrong, but step back from te situation. If you started cutting, but beforehand youd found out that your friend was cutting, you wouldnt blame her.

Seriously, dont worry being the blame it, because youre not in the slightest. Try and talk to her about her relationship with her husband, and see if she opens up to you. If she knows you cut then chances are she probably wants to talk about it with you.

RandomIdiot · 22-03-2008, 11:28 PM

Thank you both. To be honets i really can't talk to her about it. I can't tell her i know, cause then she'll think everyone's gossiping about her and that'll upset her. I saw her today and asked her how she was. She said she's ok, so i guess i just have to accept that. And hope that if she is SH'ing one day she'll talk to me about it.

Tallie · 23-03-2008, 12:28 AM

Just let her know that you are there for her, because you do sound like you are (:

Ami · 23-03-2008, 07:20 PM

Agreed, maybe tell her "if you're ever feeling down come and find me cos i will try my best to help"

its not ure fault hun.. you didnt make her SI. Please dont blame yourself, just help her as best as you can and if she feels like she can tell you, she will xx