Does anyone else keep slipping in and out of perceived reality? I'm so, so confused right now... I keep believing one thing and then another.
It even caused some form of argument with a good friend of mine :/
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Conversation
Navi: wait. >_> this isn't the delusion thing test you were on about right?
Navi: o_o
AdamLeliel: huh?
Navi: .. Doesn't matter, actually.
AdamLeliel: what?
AdamLeliel: what doesn't matter?
Navi: It's nothing.
Navi: Well.. if you must know actually
Navi: How you were talking to me about your delusional thing
Navi: about the voices being a test
AdamLeliel: I'm not being delusional
AdamLeliel: I'm not delusional
AdamLeliel: I am right, I am right
Navi: O_o
AdamLeliel: what?
Navi: I highly doubt you're "chosen" for these "tests"
AdamLeliel: then what? wha tis it?
Navi: Possibly a mental illness.
Navi: Snap out of it Adam, you were talking about it earlier
AdamLeliel: I'm not ill. How can I be? I don't feel ill.
AdamLeliel: I function fine.
Navi: ...
AdamLeliel: I know, but it was just a momentary lapse, of course.
AdamLeliel: with all of the things society feeds about it
AdamLeliel: it leads to confuson
Navi: You're.. not being yourself.
AdamLeliel: I *am*
Navi: Well, not the Adam I know.
AdamLeliel: this is the adam I know
Navi: What's gotten into you..
Navi: :/
AdamLeliel: nothing.
AdamLeliel: it's probably just hard for you to believe, really.
Navi: No.
Navi: There will be no "ascension"
<bumraider57 stopped playing Counter-Strike: Source>
Navi: or anything
Navi: it's total bullshit
AdamLeliel: whatever, man.
AdamLeliel: you know too much.
Navi: Nothing will happen to you once you pass these "tests"
Navi: How do I?
AdamLeliel: too much about this.
Navi: No, I don't.
AdamLeliel: yes, you do...
Navi: I just know you're not being the Adam I once knew.
AdamLeliel: I was designated heere, that's why i like the texture of such so mch
Navi: ...
AdamLeliel: weverything connects
Navi: It just sounds like you're being delusional
AdamLeliel: well, you would think that, wouldn't you?
AdamLeliel: you're just in with /them/.
Navi: shut the hell up, I'm with nobody
Navi: What's wrong with you Adam!? Snap out of it
AdamLeliel: you may not think you ar,e but you are, you are...
AdamLeliel: there's nothing wrong with me, jesus
AdamLeliel: that's what you don't understand...
AdamLeliel: problems aren't, they I what are don't have.
Navi: No.
Navi: Do you really think some higher power would put voices in your head telling you to kill someone?
AdamLeliel: the trtuh laid out in front of me leads the belief of, why not cannot
Navi: You're notmaking any sense..
AdamLeliel: sense is there
AdamLeliel: you are not to mention, I don't want more persecution from external people
Navi: ****ing
Navi: snap out of it man#
Navi: this isn't funny
AdamLeliel: there's nothing to snap out of
AdamLeliel: I'm not BEING funny.
AdamLeliel: maybe I should just stop talking to you, y'know?
Navi: why?
Navi: Why stop talking to one of your good friends who's trying to help?
AdamLeliel: because you're being like this.
AdamLeliel: how can you help, when yuo have no understanding?
Navi: You're in the world of your own..
AdamLeliel: there is nothing wrong withthe world
Navi: No, you misread
AdamLeliel: no, Idind't
Navi: You're in your own little dream world.
AdamLeliel: it's not a dream
AdamLeliel: this is reality
Navi: brb
AdamLeliel: okay
Navi: back
AdamLeliel: hey
AdamLeliel: did you do the war?
Navi: No, Jay has gone
Navi: and Lew won'[t do it
Navi: i think
AdamLeliel: ah
AdamLeliel: sucks, really
Navi: heh, sorta.. yeah
AdamLeliel: hm?
Navi: that we can't do the war, I mean
AdamLeliel: yeah, that' what wI mean
AdamLeliel: ...
AdamLeliel: that's what
AdamLeliel: I mean
Navi: lel
Navi: how are you?
AdamLeliel: good
AdamLeliel: pretty relaxed
AdamLeliel: happy
AdamLeliel: comfortable
Navi: I see
AdamLeliel: you?
Navi: I'm alright, a bit tired.
AdamLeliel: aha
AdamLeliel: why am I
AdamLeliel: scared at other times when I read the stuff I say?
Navi: you just read what you said?
Navi: before
AdamLeliel: no, no.
AdamLeliel: I was contemplating something else
AdamLeliel: but
AdamLeliel: perhaps it is related
Navi: gah, adam..
Navi: you need to go see a professional that could actually be of help..
AdamLeliel: why though?
Navi: this is freaky.
AdamLeliel: I don't feel like there's anything 'wrong' with me.
AdamLeliel: I feel well.
Navi: Yeah, because of your delusion
AdamLeliel: but... I'm not deluded
AdamLeliel: I can't be deluded, it all fits together
Navi: Fine, do all your ****ing tests, yeah?
Navi: Nothing will ****ing happen
AdamLeliel: fine
AdamLeliel: I appreciate the talk somewhat
Navi: anyway
Navi: I got a war..
AdamLeliel: seeya
The voices, the things I see... they're all testing me, testing me so I can become something more. I've been chosen, I've been blessed with these things. They're testing me to see how much will I have, to see how mentally strong I am. That last test about murder, that was a test of will... to see how I can cope with it. To see what I will and won't do. Evetything fits together. Even my position here denotes my calling, everything is stored in the boxes metlgin away.
- Adam
Hail Horror Hail.
Strychnine in your minds.
No hope for today, they burnt out tomorrow.
oh jesus.
I don't hear voices telling me to kill someone... but I've had a similar conversation with one of my *old* friends.
I'm at the stage where I don't know- I just... I don't know *anything* reality lost all meaning for me nearly a year ago- when *she* came.
One of my friends spoke to me about something- voice stelling them to kill someone- and...
I'm sorry I can't help. Just thought I'd let you know you're not *entirely* alone.
and if you ever just need someone to talk to- PM me, OK?
(Sorry if this post made no sense, but I'm drunk- it's... it's the only way to be sure to keep *them* away...)
seriously, though- PM me anytime. I'm online at least once a day.
Last edited by Black : 16-03-2008 at 07:50 AM.
Reason: spelling mistakes
