Triggering (SI) - I don't know how I'm going to make it through Spring Break...

[Pastel Epiphanies]

I'm going home for Spring Break, 3.5 hours from my college campus. And I'll have to see the boy that recently broke my heart. It was not and still is not a good breakup. He told me he planned on marrying me, and then on valentines day weekend instead of coming up and visiting me (we had that big storm so he couldn't come up) he broke up with me. and I don't know what to do when I go home. It seems to me I have two options, go and hang out with everyone, meaning him and all of our friends who haven't seen me since the breakup but have hung out with him all the time (I have social anxiety so the thought of this is sending me pre-panic attack) or sit at home alone, get more depressed and probably SI significantly, risking my parents finding out (they do not knock nor will they ever), and possibly actually losing those friends. and I just don't know what to do. I've been SI-ing everyday practically , my arm looks like f-n tree bark at this point and I've not been eating properly (I also have the flu which has been influencing that). I'm seriously freaking out about it. Any help? please? I really don't know what to do.

[Schleier von Dunst]

hun it seems like whatever you do it'll be hard. Well done for asking. Would it be less harmful for you if you went to see your friends do you think? Perhaps you could make up and become friends with your ex? It'll be hard, but perhaps seeing him will help you to move on from what happened? Anyhows, I think you'd be safer if you went to see them, because staying at home and getting depressed would not help. Keep talking hun, and PM me if you'd like

[Cazki]

Hiya there im very sorry that your having such a difficult time right now. *Gives you a big hug* Your definitley not a freak at all. Everything will be ok, i know that what your going through isnt easy but it doesnt mean that you cant get through this. Could you talk to us about what it is thats made you feel like this? Do you have any support at all? (If you have one) have you spoken to your counseller how your feeling? Im so sorry for the pain that your going through.

You can get through this please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Things wont be like this forever, things will get better. Be gentle with yourself try not to be too hard on yourself as that will only create problems. We are all here for you and we will support you for as long as you need it. We all care about you so much. I know its incredibly difficult when your feeling really low but we are here to support you ok. Please please dont od oding is extremly dangerous and causes severe damage, its really not worth oding.

No one wants to see you get hurt anymore than what you already are, that includes me other people here, and your friends and family. I know that things are not good for you now but they wont always be like this. Have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings? Its important that if you do decide to write down your thoughts and feelings that you combine both the positive things and the negative things together so that you dont end up writing down just the negative things on there own. Make sure that you keep safe, none of us want to see you get hurt any more than what you already are you dont deserve it.

Please keep distracting yourself as much as you possibly can, there are lots of things that you can try here are some of them, listening to music, doing jobs to keep you busy, watching a movie, going for a walk and posting on the fun and distractions forum. Please keep talking to us, you dont have to go through this all on your own, we are here for you. Please take care its important that you look after yourself.

Take care best wishes Ian