Graphic / Triggering - i dont know whats wrong with me?

[rachelll11]

I feel empty. And very emotional. I have to do things, like close the curtain, or read a whole thing of text, even if i only need to read a line, or else something bad will happen. And i cant get it out of my head that nothing bad will happen.

I told my friend, that before i go to bed, i have to remove everything that may like harm me, eg, wires...
She laughed. Now i feel like a freak.

I feel so emotional tonight, like properly heart broken. I cut myself pretty badly, but i didnt feel anything. I enjoyed it...

I cant talk to anyone, because i feel stupid. And i dont want to make a big deal about it...

I also dread going to bed, and im not sure why. I dont know how i got this way.

[*..life in pain..*]

do you have anyone you can talk to about your feelings hun?like a counselor or someone?im so sorry that you have to go through this.you aren't stupid at all.

[rachelll11]

no. its why i joined here i suppose, i feel like i belong.

[Cazki]

Hiya there im very sorry that your having such a difficult time right now. Your not a waste of space at all. *Gives you a big hug* Everything will be ok, i know that what your going through isnt easy but it doesnt mean that you cant get through this. Could you talk to us about what it is thats made you feel like this? Im so sorry for the pain that your going through.

You can get through this please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Things wont be like this forever, things will get better. Be gentle with yourself try not to be too hard on yourself as that will only create problems. We are all here for you and we will support you for as long as you need it. We all care about you so much. I really want you to take a moment and think about how it would effect everyone around you if anything happened to you. I know its incredibly difficult when your feeling really low but we are here to support you ok.

No one wants to see you get hurt anymore than what you already are, that includes me other people here, and your friends and family. I know that things are not good for you now but they wont always be like this. Have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings? Its important that if you do decide to write down your thoughts and feelings that you combine both the positive things and the negative things together so that you dont end up writing down just the negative things on there own. Make sure that you keep safe, none of us want to see you get hurt any more than what you already are you dont deserve it.

Please keep distracting yourself as much as you possibly can, there are lots of things that you can try here are some of them, listening to music, doing jobs to keep you busy, watching a movie, going for a walk and posting on the fun and distractions forum. Please keep talking to us, you dont have to go through this all on your own, we are here for you. Please take care its important that you look after yourself.

Take care best wishes Ian