argh ****ed up gotback on it, i missed so much want more now, why did i stop , i know why, but its like a comfy pair of slippers ............. ****, ****, what do i do now..... feeling lost, dont know where i go from here .............
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
Think about why you did it, what emotions or attitudes triggered you to want it. If you really don't want to drink/use, make yourself accountable to a friend and talk to them. Make a list of other things you will do and people you will talk to instead of drink/use.
Go to an AA or NA meeting? Or at least look at their web sites?
Eventually a comfy pair of slippers gets so threadbare and so stinky that they are no longer useful.
PM me. I understand. I've been sober for a while but there are still days I ask my husband to get the groceries, because the nuts and trail mix are next to the booze and the ice cream is opposite the deli aisle.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
