Triggering (Suicide) - CPN doesn't even care - So why should I!?!

[Harmless_Baby]

I really wants my CPN to care about me.
Ive really fallen down the garden-path lately.. with the whole self-destruct thing.
Ive tried n failed so many attempts lately.. it's stupid!
I swear.. I could be put into the world guieness book of records for failed attempts.
Ive pulled out my hair, scratched up my pretty face, burnt both of my legs up with lighters, putting razors against my skin and dragging them across.
I feel like im more scared about my own safety than my CPN is.
I tells her how unsafe I feel at times, but she just tries to brush it away from me, saying to do some CBT with myself or to find some distracton.. but she doesnt an cant seem to grasp how impossible it is for me.
how do i make her understand n get her to worry as much as i do about my own safety..
im starting to feel like she actually kinda wants me dead x

[effervescence]

nobody wants you dead!! there are people here and people close to you who care about you and want to see you safe and happy, even if it doesn't feel like it. it sounds like she's not being very effective for you, could you change to someone else who is more sympathetic? if you can't you could try writing her a letter or copying what you;ve just posted and showing her so she has a better idea of how you're feeling and how serious this is for you. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad about this *hugs* try to stay safe cos it will be worth it in the end, life will get better

[Stellata]

What's behind your self harm? What's making you self-destruct? Understanding that can be the first step to shifting yourself to a place of more safety inside.