Triggering (Suicide/Sexual Abuse) - Support needed..

[Tears.In.Heaven.]

I was in the chatroom speaking to someone and it gave me the courage to speak out and ask if i'm able to get abit of support just now..

Recently i was raped by a family friend and still haven't came to terms with whats happened and i won't allow myself to accept whats happened. I'm seeing my family crumbling apart infront of my eyes because of it and it's making me feel guilty because it's my fault this is happening. I know the rape itself wasn't my fault, my parents and boyfriend helped me accept that, but I still find myself making up excuses for 'him' as to why it's happened. I just won't let myself come to terms with it and I just feel completely numb right now. My parents want me to speak to someone but I feel until i'm able to accept whats happened and come to terms with it i'm not able to speak to someone to over come it. My life just consists of self harming and putting a front on for other people so they think i'm coping. I'm just thinking wtf is the point anymore? You get so far in life then you get thrown 10 steps back again for what exactly? I'm just going to die anyway and going on like this is an never ending battle which i'm never going to win anyway. Just don't see the point in life, or anything anymore

[effervescence]

i think speaking to someone now would be a good idea, they are the ones who will help you accept what has happened and come to terms with it, you don't have to do that part for yourself. It should make you feel better. take care x

[*Stars_above*]

first i have to say its not your falt.. nothing is your falt... and second HUGS!! and yea i think talking to someone is the best thing to do XXXX

take care sweetie

[DUNFERMLINEBOY]

Heya,

First of all no part of what has happened is your fault! I hear you saying that u don't blame yourself for the rape itself, but you do blame yourself for some of the consequences that have arised from it!!! You can't do that to yourself either hun, the only person who can be held responsible is the scumbag who raped you!

Have you reported this attack to the Police? If not I think you should if you feel up to doing so!

All these scum are are sick sad little people who have to try and make up for their own inadequacies by trying to have power over someone else, you've got the power not them!

After I was raped i found Victim's Support to be very helpfull (even though you may think that you're not ready to talk about it yet, you may be surprised) You've also got the rape crisis centres and the samaritans! The numbers for all which you'll be able to find in your local phone book!


Really, really hope that this helps, if i can be of any further help please get in touch!

Best Wishes,

Craig

[idontwantnomorescars]

it is definaletly not your fault hun that this happening. you are a survivor and i'm really proud of you for that.

perhaps speaking with a professional could help you come to terms with what has happened? i'm not using the word 'accept' and i dont think you should either you should never accept what has happened to you but you should come to terms with it and deal with it an appropriate manner.

dont put a front hun, i've learnt the hard way from that, you need help and by convincing people you're fine when you're really not can make you feel so much worse and you do need to get the help to come to terms with what has happened. no one can help you unless you stop the fronts

you will win this battle hun you're just in such a horrid place in your life right now that you cant see the end to all of this pain.

things will improve with time. please stay strong xox

[Tears.In.Heaven.]

I can't thank everyone enough for there kind words and support.
Thankyou all so much
x