Triggering (SI) - Need Support

[~Lizzie~]

I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I really need some support cause I feel so alone. I'm an exchange student in Norway, and I'm going home in less than a month. But my mom told me yesterday that my grandma, who I am very close to, is getting very sick and will probably die within the next few weeks. I haven't seen her in 10 months and I probably won't get to, and there is nothing I can do. I love her so much and I need her. I don't know what to do right now. I'm sitting here across the ocean when I so badly want to be with her. I feel so alone cause my family went left for vacation today so I can't even talk to them. I'm just sitting here crying and trying so desperately not to cut. Sorry for wasting your time, I know there isn't anything anyone can do.

[_Cadence_]

I'm so sorry!!! All I can do is hold you- and I can't even do that properly over the internet. My grandma, who I was extremely close to also, died a couple of years ago. I'm so sorry! Feel free to PM me anytime! *cuddles*

[Stellata]

You're not wasting our time.

It must be especially hard for you being so far away from your Gran. What would you need from her? What would you say to her if you could? Maybe you could put it in a letter, and get your mum to read it out to her?

[~Lizzie~]

Thanks for the idea about the letter. That's smart. I'll do that now. I think that might make me feel a bit better

[Bleeding Angel]

im sorry things are bad right now, the letter is a good idea though and i hope that helps you *hugs*

[~Lizzie~]

I had this bad feeling that my grandma was dead, and so I looked it up in the obituaries online, and she is. My parents just didn't tell me so that I wouldn't want to come home. I feel so alone right now. I have no one to talk to about this cause my family is on vacation. I'm just sitting here and crying. I loved her so much and I'll never get to see her again.

[Mountain Snow Tiger]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I don't know much about the grieving process, but I do know that it's very much okay to grieve when you've lost somebody you loved. It's okay for you to cry and feel miserable - you have every right to feel miserable and upset that your grandma, who you loved so much, has died.

I also know that it's incredibly hard not to have been with somebody you loved at the time when they were dying. Many people who have that experience find it difficult to deal with. I'm very sorry that you weren't able to be with your grandma during the past few days.

One thing I've heard people say about when a loved one dies, is that the pain of loosing your loved one might never go away completely, but in time (sadly it may take months or years before this is the case) the pain can lessen to the extent that one day you may be able to remember your grandma and all the good things about her with more happiness than pain. I hope that that day comes for you and that you are able to look back with happiness at your grandma's life and at the wonderful close relationship the two of you had.

It's understandable that you feel alone right now. I hope you find somebody to talk to about what's happened. Is it possible that your family will come back from vacation early in order to arrange your grandma's funeral? Until you do have a friend or family member to talk to, maybe you could try writing down your thoughts in order to get them out - perhaps you could write in a journal or post online somewhere. Another possibility is that you could write a letter to your grandma, telling her how you're feeling and how sad you are about her death.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. The death of somebody you love is a truly horrible experience. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now and nothing I write here can take away the pain or grief you're experiencing. So I merely offer my sympathies. Please take care of yourself and I hope you manage to get through the next few weeks and months okay, however difficult things may feel.

Take care

mst