Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Very Very Very Graphic/trig ***amputatuation***
valentines day, just...not quite dawn of it..
me passed out in driveway with destyoyed shoulder...i think i heard [swear i did] 'broken humerous.....insert other bone here....*shrugs*...compound fracture...anyways cops traced my call got me ...i think lots knew that...i honestly cant remember if i posted something
anyways...it doesnt end there...which is what my recent retelling did.....i was outside cos i was going for the saw...left hand bye bye...but...i passed out , i slit my wrist, through tendon and vein two reasons if i couldnt handle saw w one hand i would still bleed out and it was my 'chalk line' for the saw.,, passed out into bathtub[figured would be easiest place to clean up] then seizure-d in drive and fell and now the proud [?] bearer of 28-ish? staples ,unknopwn number of plates and screws, in my left shoulder, 15 stiches for wrists which hubby had to remove as my asshole doc left them[knowingkly] in too late...the skin had grown over the most of trhem...nice.
but im alive
thanks to four ppl i wish to thank again,
tears of solitude,zurg,FRainyand my dear first plumeria sis, nailz. i love you even more if thats possible lol.
so if you dont know them, let me tell you they four more loverly ppl you should know....friends/sis's for life
thank you
im now staying at a residential care place..pretty free to come and go. not bad..one guy ,unfortunately, is ready to blow sky high....hope i miss it....
so i wont be about much...just when i can get home
Oh Rompers :(
*warm, careful cuddles*
Much love to you sweetie. Please take care.
*another gentle squeeze as much for me as for you*
Love love love,
Alyssa
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
oh Romp honey take care of yourself
*huge lovely snuggly gentle hugs*
i am SO GLAD you are still here and still fighting!
you are right - it definitely does make you loads stronger!!!
i hope you get the help you need at the residence
watch out for yourself and steer clear of that guy who is about to blow
keep fighting and keep safe
xxxooo
I'm glad you're at a care place. I'm glad you're "okay" and i am ECSTATIC that you're alive. We love you sweetheart so much. And Iam so happy you have such wonderful friends on here.
Jess
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
im really glad that youre now in a safe place.
im really sorry you had to go through all that just to get there.
thinking of you romp.
much much love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thank you, all of you
i feel happiness
but a lil fear...i see new psych today :\
but i needed to finally do it
been knocking around my my poor head for ages....as you poor ppl know as youve had to read onit relentlessly it feels like
but i did
im home as i cant stay there w a psych and have another psych
i understand
there are soooooo many despwerate for ONE
so i hope he's good
somethings different this time...i found my fight
my denial to be a good lil mouse and listebn to insultibng doc
insult me...i'll report you so ****ingf fast your head will spin
I WILL NOT BE WALKED ON IGNORED ANTY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you all
IM glad...beyond glad to be alive
better yet...living
romp
will update after i get home or if too tired will do after q sleep...its always somewhat drining seeing a psych, more so if hes new...
love to all
romp
