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Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - slipping and losing everything.
so my life?
*im going through the whole 'should i tell him i love him or not'?
pathetic huh?
thing is the guy im in love with and have been in a relationship with for 8 months is, yes 12 years older than me. also, my mums fiance's brother.
hmm. older brother.
some great secret huh?
*i posted a thing the other day saying this thursday is 2 years since i was raped.
so yeh, this is no doubt just another attention seeking post.
*but i was sorting out cds and stuff earlier and came across a blade i hid ages ago. id totally forgotten about it.
but i just left it there cos i feel so weak right now.
but i know its there, and its so hard.
*ive got my mums wedding coming up so i know i cant cut and let it be seen,
but with all the scars on my arms im triggered to cut there.
*i need to get rid of them. right now.
*i keep thinking of places i can cut, maybe my stomach, or legs?
but theres no space with all the lines already.
and T will see. and i'll no doubt lose him.
*but i would just be able to deal with this so much better, you know?
im going all shakey and everything and can barely type this.
i can still feel Him, smell Him. taste Him. i keep getting flashbacks of it happening and i cant cant cant get it out of my head.
i can feel His hands on me. all over me.
pinning me down. litterally ripping my trousers and knickers.
and i feel so so dirty.
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