Triggering (SI/Substance Abuse) - Spiralling down. Please Please reply

jessye · 27-02-2008, 05:33 PM

Everything is going wrong. I'm spiralling downward and I don't know what to do. I drink too much. I dabble in drugs when I know all they do is fuck me up. I hang around with bad people. I smoke way too much. I stay up all night. And I know that these are just ways of me trying to hurt myself.

I've started to have awful graphic dreams about self injury. Sometimes I wonder whether I should just give in and start cutting again to make them go away. I have no energy. I sleep all day. I can barely make it to work in the evenings. And I put on this front that everyone can see through.

I feel unbalanced. I feel like a wreck. I hate hate hate myself. And I don't know what to do about it.

I'm on antidepressants and have been for over a year but they're not working anymore. I feel like this is all my fault. If only I tried harder to be a better more successful person then I wouldn't feel like this. But I have no energy. I have no way to climb out of this and I'm scared.

Please please help me.

Jess

Schleier von Dunst · 27-02-2008, 07:03 PM

sorry, I don't really know how to help, I'm in a bad position myself at the moment, I just wanted you to know that we care about you.
stay strong. You don't need to cut *hugs* PM me if you want to chat

small light · 27-02-2008, 07:07 PM

*cuddles* Oh hun, i'm sorry to hear that things are so bad. But starting cutting again wont make things better, it will just be another thing to worry about. You're worth a lot more than so much destruction, but it's so hard to see out of all the pain. Do you have anyone you live with who could help you with a few practical things? Like less smoking, be there for you instead of a drink and encourage you to do more helpful stuff? Success isn't judged by the world, it's personal to what YOU need to do. Take care

Feelingdead · 27-02-2008, 07:24 PM

Im in the exact position. But i killed my self two weeks ago. They brought me back to life. And ive been in a pych ward till 2 days ago. All i can say is get some nicotine gum. Stop smoking so much and start excersising. In order to get your energy u have to burn it first. Drink lots of milk and make sure u injest lots of protein. Make sure for every5 grams of protein u consume, Have 1 gram of fat. That is key. Pich up a hobbie or even a weapon. Train ur self Which ever way u see fit. Because the only way to get through it is to either die. Or convince ur self that u already are. I dont feel like i exist but yet Im here. Pain is irrelevant, Cutting is a way out. But if u want pain with no damge do push ups, Sit ups, Pull ups. Go for a run Start slow, Work ur way up. Your body will start burning and absorbing the protein, And u will see a rise in energy. Once u cut back on the smoking u wont sleep as much. U will wake and feel awake. Pain will still be there i still havent figured out how to stop that. Or the fucking dreams that haunt me. But this list is ways i deal with it. I also picked up alot of hobbies. Some much Yet so little. Small steps forward are still considered motion. Expecially in the right direction.

Trucktastic · 28-02-2008, 12:18 AM

As above ^^ Feelingdead that's good advice.

Try and take care of yourself. Eat a balanced diet, don't smoke as much, even better if not at all. Don't use the drugs - they will only make you feel worse.

And speak to your GP about the antidepressents - they might be able to prescribe you some different ones.

But most of all take care of yourself.

Wiv luv,

Lozx