Triggering (OD) - Is it my fault? What should I do?

sweepingly · 26-02-2008, 09:32 PM

My mother just tried to kill herself by ODing for the umpteenth time, then called me and told me it was all my fault, because I'm pathetic, a waste of space and evil, have no morals or sense of righteousness etc.

I've called an ambulance, but she won't go to the hospital and they can't make her. And I won't go visit her, which is horrible of me but I'm ill and I just.. can't. I'm trying to remember that it's not my responsibility anymore, but she's still my mother and if I don't show her that I care (or pretend to, at least) then who will?

It's been a week since I cut and got fall-down drunk, but now I really feel like doing both, falling just as far as she has because she's given me the right to and that's probably more pathetic than anything.

Am I being ridiculous about this? Should I just get the fxck over myself and go see her?

abba12 · 26-02-2008, 09:39 PM

it sounds like she might not even want to see you
but remember, what she did was not your fault. it wasnt because of you, she made thatchoice herself.
do you feel comfortable going to see her? maybe it could help if you do, but only if you want to. dont feel like you have to, dont feel giulty.

CrazyChaoticMess · 26-02-2008, 09:44 PM

im young and havent got much knowledge but i say she's your mom go see her even if you resent what she has sed x

sweepingly · 26-02-2008, 09:50 PM

I think she'd want me to go, but I'm not sure. Her boyfriend might not let me in - he thinks it's my fault too.

Chances are she'll be unconscious so I'm not sure how much good it'd do.

sweet_pain · 26-02-2008, 09:50 PM

Honestly, what she did was really mean and uncalled for! You do not deserve to be treated like that by anyone, especially your mom! I think that if you want to you should see her, but it will probably be really hard for you to be with her.
You are NOT being rediculouse about this, not at all. What your mom said obviously hurt you a lot.
In the end it's up to you, but please do not do anything that you may regret tommorow.
If you need to talk PM me anytime<3

Infected Mushroom · 26-02-2008, 10:06 PM

listen, she was probably scared and angry, and you happened to be the person she lashed out at.
thats no excuse i know. no one deserves to be blamed for something like this.

no matter what she says, you're still her child and she will want to see you.
her boyfriend has no right to stand in the way of you seeing your mum.
so if feel like you should go, there is nothing stopping you.

stay safe and PM me anytime, x

sweepingly · 28-02-2008, 02:59 PM

I finally plucked up the courage to call her this afternoon. She maintains, even sober, that her OD was my fault.
.... I really don't know what to do with that. I feel guilty and angry at the same time; I'm not sure whether I should be mad at myself or her.