Triggering (SI/Suicide) - I don't know what to do

[one_step_closer]

I'm so lonely. I'm fed up looking after my Dad and my brother and having no one to look after me. I wish my Mum was here. Yes, I can look after myself but it's not the same as having someone else there. I was 14 when my Mum died, I still feel like i'm a 14 year old who desperately needs someone to take care of her. I have no family living near me and they don't know that I have depression anyway. I have no friends living near me and they don't know how I feel either. I'm sure my psychologist said that I could phone her but I can't remember and I wouldn't know what to say.

I used to have a key worker but she disappeared. I've been trying to get back in touch with them. I need someone who knows me and the problems I have and is trained to help people like me. I need someone I can trust and let them know when i'm struggling. All I can think of doing right now is lying in my bed and self harming. I don't want to go to uni any more, I don't want to wake up until there is something that will make things better. I have been struggling for so long. I NEED SOMEONE RIGHT NOW. I can't phone a helpline. I get on with a CPN who runs a self esteem group but she's not my CPN and i'd feel bad getting in touch with her because she is not responsible for me.

I am always going to be alone. I might as well die. Right now.

[Infected Mushroom]

hey hun,
i know you're feeling rotten right now, but surely there is someone qualified or not, that you can talk to?
Im sure that the CPN will not mind you calling her. give it a go and see what happens. she is there to help people.

things can only get better.
stay positive and stay safe.
always here for you xxx

[Hollz]

Hi there

Hope you feel better at the moment. I would suggest trying to contact the local crisis line or something, they are trained to help in a crisis and they can refer you to speak to someone such as a local cpn. I am not sure where in Scotland you live, but if it's near Paisley then I can pass you the local crisis number from my crisis card.

If you need to talk either pm me or msn me, it's no problem at all.

It must be hard for you, after the loss of your mum and you do need support, and support will be there for you, even maybe try to have a heart to heart with you dad to let him know how you are feeling.

Anyway as I said, I am here if you need to talk, or would like any of the crisis number that I have.

[blondiebear]

I haven't lost a parent but I do understand. I grew up taking care of my sister and my disabled depressed mother, and then helped Dad cook dinner when he got home and rubbed his back after dinner. Yuck.

The best I can do to take care of you is to say that I understand. PM me if you want to talk.
*gives you a caring hug*

[Stellata]

How are you feeling now, Lindsay?

I've not lost a parent, but I understand what it's like to want to be taken care of.

Poke my pm box any time. I'll reply asap.