I, the penis herby request a rise in salary for the following resons:-
I do physical labour
I work great depths
I plunge headfirst into everything I do
I do not get weekends off, nor public holdays
I work in damp environments
I do not get paid overtime
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Management Responsse:
Dear Penis,
After considering your request and assessing the argument raisedthe administration rejects your request for te following reasons:-
You refuse to work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job
YOu do not follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocted postion and often stry to other areas
You do not take initiative nd have to be persuaded and stimulated to start working
You leave the worksite rather messy at the end of your shift
You often fail to observe necessary saftey regulations such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You will retire well before you reach 5
You are unable to work double shifts
You have been reported as regularly trying to get work elsewhere
You sometimes leave your allocated postion before completing the job
An if that where not all, you have ben observed entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
Miss Bea the church organist was in her 80s an had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
The pastor came to call on her one afternoon in earl spring and she welcomes him into her victorian parlor. She invited him to hav a seat whilst she prepared a little tea
As he sat facing her old plump rgan, the young minster noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Had Miss Bea flipped or something??
When she returned with tea, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle ihs curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him an he could resist no longer
"Miss Bea" he said, "I wonder if you could tell me about his?" (pointing to the bowl)
"Oh yes" she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little pckage on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet and it would prevent disease. And you know, I havnt had a cold all winter."
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
