i lost it last night and i cut again, first time iv properly SI in months but it was really bad this time.
there not just cuts there gashes in my arm i can see inside my arm and i think maybe it could have done with stitches but i havent told anyone so i wont be having them.
i feel really crappy with myself for doing it after such a long time of being free from it.
just keep telling myself that these things happen and it'll all be ok but i dont know if it will all be alright deep down im really scared and i dont know where to turn or what to do next.
i dont know why iv put this on here i guess i just needed to let it out tell somone id done it.
<3 He took the blade from her hand and whispered gently in her ear " hold on and everything will be alright" <3
Hiya there im very sorry that your having such a difficult time right now and that you slipped up . *Gives you a big hug* Everything will be ok, i know that what your going through isnt easy but it doesnt mean that you cant get through this. Do you have any support at all? Just because you slipped up it doesnt mean that you cant make a fresh start. We all have slip ups its part of recovery, but this doesnt mean that you have failed. Well done for going so long without harming before. You did it before and you can do it again. Please take it easy and take it a step at a time. Do you know what the cause of this was? Could you talk to us a bit more about what it is thats making you feel like this? You dont have to go through this alone, we are all here for you.
You can get through this please dont give up please keep fighting through this. Things wont be like this forever, things will get better. Be gentle with yourself try not to be too hard on yourself as that will only create problems. We are all here for you and we will support you for as long as you need it. We all care about you so much. No one wants to see you get hurt anymore than what you already are, that includes me other people here, and your friends and family.
Have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings? Its important that if you do decide to write down your thoughts and feelings that you combine both the positive things and the negative things together so that you dont end up writing down just the negative things on there own. Make sure that you keep safe, none of us want to see you get hurt any more than what you already are you dont deserve it.
Please keep distracting yourself as much as you possibly can, there are lots of things that you can try here are some of them, listening to music, doing jobs to keep you busy, watching a movie, going for a walk and posting on the fun and distractions forum. Please keep talking to us, you dont have to go through this all on your own, we are here for you. Please take care its important that you look after yourself.
did this once and it froze so i tried screen printing and pasting in the hope i wouldnt need to type it all out again but it wouldnt paste, have attached it as an attachment though dont know how that will work =S not good with these things they annoy me.
<3 He took the blade from her hand and whispered gently in her ear " hold on and everything will be alright" <3
Thanks guys, means a lot to hear I'm not alone because it feels so much like I am.
My boyfriend caused the self harm I'm sad to say and when he seen the cuts he asked if it was his fault, i lied to protect his feelings and i don't know if that was the right thing to do? maybe I should have tried to explain to him how his actions caused it. We fell out but there was no real cause I can think of. we were both in pretty crap moods and once together we argued over everything even things like making a cup of tea. at one point he was deliberately trying to wind me up and i ended up elbowing him in the face.Wrong i know and I felt awful for it i guess thats where the urge to self harm came from =S
Everything just feel so empty and meaningless right now and it's come from nowhere i can't pinpoint what triggered it. i guess i wouldn't mind so much if there was a cause but it's all gone wrong and nothing has happened that i can think of.
Just wanting to be alone at the moment and that scares me because last time i went like that it lasted months and my friends lost interest in me i want part of their group anymore =( sounds stupid some of it was probably in my mind.
oh rambling sorry thanks once again for replying.
xxxx
Hope you don't mind love.
Take care, it sounds like things have gotten to a point where it's overwhelming. Regardless of what triggered it -and it might have just been nothing, but was left to get progressively worse- it is an issue for you now, and even though you feel like shying away from people, the best thing you can do is get out there.
I know, I hate it when people tell me that but sometimes it can really help pick you up and give you some more motivation to help tackle other things you feel you need to deal with, like talking things over with your boyfriend. Can you arrange to go out with a friend, maybe just for coffee? And afterwards, no matter how it goes, recognise that it is an achievement, and every achievement gets you one step closer to another one, and increases motivation.
Take care of yourself; remember we're here for you.
Best Wishes,
- Aimee. xo
no i dont mind you putting my attachment on there properly id have done it myself but didnt know how to do it simply and so wasnt in the mood for writing it all out again yesterday. You have done me a favour cheers
im doing ok at going out and i can talk to people im alright with that once i get over the first step of getting myself out the house and arranging to meet up with someone. I dont have any mates that are really supportive for me in terms of the self harm though which is a same because i used to and it was so much easier knowing i wasnt alone and there was someone there fighting my corner and that didnt judge me for it no matter how bad things got. Having someone still wanting to be around me when i was having a bad day/week.
I'm sick of hiding things all the dam time but i cant be open about it because i have so much to lose, starting college was a new start where nobody knows i self harm and i like it that way, but it does mean im having to be secretive about things and thats difficult at times.
Cheers again for writing out my last messege and spending the time reading my messeges it shows people care and thats helpful in itself.
Danni xxxxxxxx
<3 He took the blade from her hand and whispered gently in her ear " hold on and everything will be alright" <3
xxxx