my verbal sanctuary

[5ophie]

Hey all..

its been a while since ive logged on.

i kind of decided that if i didnt log on, i would be fooling myself into thinking i was fine and into thinking that i didnt need to vent anymore or rather had nothing to vent about.

I also think i wanted to believe that i didnt need to use things as a distraction but i clearly do as i nearly slipped last week while dealing with a whole bunch of things that made me go all over the place a bit emotionally.

Instead, i set up a new blog which i would really appreciate you all checking out just so i know my little emotional outbursts from when im in my mellow insomia-ish nighttime moods arent going unknown.

Just knowing i still count makes it easier.

hope everyone is doing ok.

here's the link:

http://www.myverbalsanctuary.blogspot.com

x

[chocostashchick]

hey, nice to see you!
i'm glad that you have still found a way to vent and get everything out
it helps SO much to just rant about everything and know that at least SOMEBODY reads it, even if there are no replies (it's why i love the r+v forum)
hope you are doing well!
stay safe xxxooo callie

[5ophie]

hey,

thanks for the response! it helps to know that it got acknowledged and not just skim read and clicked away from!

its so easy to think your post just gets glanced at and isnt given any time at all..

hope alls good with you! xx

[chocostashchick]

haha i guess that's true
i have definitely skimmed a post and written a response and then noticed that i asked a question or suggested something that was totally irrelevant because i hadn't actually read everything that the person wrote

i guess it's the thought that counts though? hmm or maybe i'm the only one who has done that...... :-/

[5ophie]

lol - at least you make the effort and begin to repond!!

it most def is the thought that counts :) x

[chocostashchick]

aww thanks :)
i try haha but i think most of the people here are pretty nice and respond most of the time

[5ophie]

thanks :) i'll try and update the site quite regularly so keep checking back for more!

hope youre doing ok x

[5ophie]

Just wanted to check that ive not been forgotten about... ive updated my site a little in the last few days :)

www.myverbalsanctuary.blogspot.com

x

[5ophie]

I can't bloody believe it. (no pun intended).

Ive gone and totally ruined my 7month dry stint and ive gone and given in (not majorly, but it counts) just because of some really stupid reasons - namely life.

Its so frustrating coz every "normal" person would be able to deal with these silly things by having a gossip on the phone or by just writing it down but i cant seem to do that. I hate the fact that since i was 12 ive not even understood why i do it. 10 years later and it still just happens and it helps. the worst is that its such a common problem now but theres so much stigma attached and its seen as such a 'weird' thing. I hate saying 'normal' people but thats how stupid society makes it all seem.

I tried so hard and lasted for so long. I just wanted to be free of it all but this minor relapse has ruined it all.

"a feeling of freedom and a sense of purity" thats what i bloody well had going round my head. It's all so twisted.

Its so annoying. I wish i had more self control. I just gave in, I had a weak moment and i gave in.

sh*t.

Sorry to vent

im still posting on my blog by the way - http://www.myverbalsanctuary.blogspot.com/

I really hope everyone else is doing ok,
x