Triggering (SI) - Is the help worth it?

[Mike_AB]

Hey
I've been feeling really low for the past couple days. I mean, I've been clinically depressed for about two years, and I thought I got over it, but now I'm back to where I was. There's been some bad news around - my ex-girlfriend's having my baby and doesn't want me in their lives, that's the main thing. The others are just college people being twats and a girl I live with not managing her own problems and coming to me for help. I can't handle my own problems, and especially not hers.

Thing is... I've got a massive support network around me, but I don't want to use it. I'm so used to feeling like this that I don't want to change. I know why this is, though - there's things I want to do (self harm again) but if I got help I wouldn't be able to do them. I don't actually want the help.

I've still got some vivid purple scars up and down my arm, and seeing them reminds me of a time I could cope with my problems. Self harm's been my life for almost two years, and I don't have any other coping mechanisms that work. I've tried all sorts, I've tried therapy and medication and stuff, and I've even tried alternative methods of self harm (rubber bands, ice, drawing on arm with pen, etc), but nothing else gives me the same rush. It's the only way I know how to cope with things...

[xxhappydaysxx]

hey im sorry youve been feeling low

i understand about feeling like you can cope because of self harm but in the long term it doesnt help. well done for 2 years thats amazing and shows how strong you are.
maybe you could try a long term coping method instead of things si related like taking up a sport, volunteering, drawing, writing, painting etc because then your doing something for you that you will gain from, whatever it is and putting your energy into that a bit.

your support network are there because they want to be. i understand so much about not wanting to feel better, its like going into the unknown when youve felt bad for so long, but you can be ok, and it will feel ok its just gonna be different. maybe working thru it with your support network would be good, cos its daunting on ur own.

please take care, you can fight thru this
here is u need to talk
love sian xxx