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Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - Saving Myself
Reading back over
my old poetry
brings sudden realisation,
I had begged you
to take my virginity
when I was eighteen
which means
that I had already
blocked out the memory
of Mark, and you standing,
'keeping watch.'
Because when I
begged you,
it was too late,
you had already given
my virginity
to someone else
I wonder if you knew
that it was not yours
to give,
I wonder if you knew
that I was not yours
to give.
Didn't you think that maybe,
just maybe,
I wanted to save myself
for you?
And perhaps, blocking
the memory out,
was just my way
of saving myself,
but I should have known
that I needed saving
from you and not for you!
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