Triggering (SI) - **** i dont know what else to say

[Ghostface]

Not sure if I should put this is in the SIthread or what.
And I know my english sucks, especially now.

But I feel so alone.

My mum came in to the kitchen some hours ago and I started wonderin if she was actually gonna give me a hug cause she was like moving towards me, she put her face beside mine(i was like what, you actually came up again just to give me a hug?) and then she said-stop being such an idiot and treat me with respect. And she went to bed again. I just started laughing even though i felt like crying. What else could i do,my dad was sitting there, and i just acted like i found it really amusing.... is what i always do, laugh.

It's vacation now, and I have no idea what my friends are up to, or where they are. Havent been out of the house for almost 5 days now. I know it's my own fault but. I just dont know what to do, I feel so lost=/

****
I could write pages about how i feel right now, but it seems so useless.

I would do a lot to have anyone to talk to right now, I feel like i really need to talk to someone, but on the other hand i dont have anything to say. The only solution I can think of is not a good one, but still, its a solution, and its tempting.

[mi92186]

I know how tempting it is to SI, but try to put that tempation to rest. There's always people on RYL you can talk to. Feel free to PM me at anytime. I get on multiple times a day, so I will more than likely answer you shortly after you send it.
Laughter isn't always such a bad thing. But you need to allow yourself to feel other feelings, as well. Humans are made to feel a range of emotions.
Good luck and God bless.

[Ghostface]

Thanks, I actually made it :]
The worst thing is that im having breathing problems, which used to bother me before but then stopped. But now they're back, and I hate it, sometimes SI is the only way I can make it stop a little.