I'm engaged. I have been since october 2006. I'm 24 and i've been with my boyfriend since november 2005. I love him, and i want to spend my life with him.
We're planning on getting married on February 14th 2009. We're going to book the registry office this friday. I can't get over this terrified feeling. I love him, i honestly do. But i'm scared of actually booking the wedding. I do want to marry him. But booking it will make it all real. Not just something we're talking about.
I think i'm scared that our marriage won't work and that in a few years we'll just end up getting divorced. I don't want to get married thinking oh well if it doesn't work there is always the magic D word. I plan on spending my life with him, and i want too. I'm just scared because getting married is a massive step, and what if it doesn't last forever.
I think I know what fear your feeling, I felt the same when I married my husband but I had known him for less time. I think as long as you both love each other and are willing to really work to keep the marriage a happy one, you don't need to worry. I didn't marry with divorce as a back up if things get hard, but I was reassured that if for some unforeseen reason we are both generally unhappy together in he future we won't have to stay together.
I have found marriage quite difficult if I am truthful because before I married my guy we weren't even living in te same country, but there is no reason why a piece of paper has to change the relationship that the two of you have. Be willing to face whatever obstacles face you together and be happy!
Hun, life's all about choice, and I think everything happens for a reason. Take things one day at a time and see how it goes. You wouldn't marry him unless you didn't want to... I don't know what to say, I want to be supportive and positive but I want you to be happy too. Do what makes you happy!
xo
i can honestly say marriage is the best thing ive ever done. im 24 and have been married for almost 6 months now :)
obviously its different for everyone but if you really do want to spend the rest of your life with him then i wouldnt worry about it hun. its normal to be nervous about it, its a huge step but if your both committed to each other then i bet you'll be fine
I understand the hesitation too. I was so afraid that if my husband ever got to know how bad I really was he would run away screaming. I've been married almost 3 years now, and they've been pretty rough years, but I could not have gotten through them in one piece without my husband. He's my greatest encouragement, my protector and my best friend. There was no need to be worried at all.
I will say I think it's important to share your fears with him. The more open you are the easier things are to deal with - no surprises or shocks that way.
I worry about that all the time but you have to try and take everything as it comes otherwise you'll regret everything. I know it's much harder than it it is just to say it though.
I've been married for 18 years. It has been tough. We've both had to do a lot of work on ourselves and on our attitudes towards each other.
I once heard that love is a decision. I think about that when I look at the grocery list and them make sure I pick up what he wants. When I think I'll go nuts if I clear one more empty coke can off the computer desk, and when he wakes me up with some interesting bit of trivia. I think about it when I remember how hard he worked to find compromise so he wouldn't divorce me. How he took care of me over Summer 2007 when my depression was so bad that it was almost as much as I could do to get showered and dressed.
Falling in love is great. Growing in love is even better. My husband is my best friend.
Oh yeah, I also believe that for wedding gifts, there is no such thing as too many towels!
CONGRATULATIONS!
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
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having a party, buying some gold rings, and getting a special piece of paper won't do anything to change your relationship or stress it at all
either you are committed to eachother, or you aren't, and marriage is just a way of making that public and official and spiritual (if you are spiritual/religious at all)
so, i guess that what i am saying is that the fears you have are normal, and the wedding /marriage really won't change your relationship as much as you might think because it sounds like you are both already committed and in it for the long haul, regardless of how long you stay engaged
relax and enjoy your relationship! i say get married! yay!!!! you deserve to be able to celebrate your love!!
Thank you all. It's good to know that what i'm feeling is natural.
We're not booking the wedding on friday now. We decided not to get married in february, but to wait until april so it'll be a bit warmer. And the notice of marriage is only good for one year, so we have to wait until april to book the registry office.
Darling... trust me i know how you feel. Marrige is a wonderdull thing. Dont let that bother you! And congrats!
{CDT&CLT forever- December 9th 2011}
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