Join Date: Feb 2008
I am currently:  
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Never let you down(story)
(just a small comment, im not american/english or whatever, so my english is not perfect,and I wrote this a year ago,so if you find mistakes(and you probably will)please let me know, just dont be too mean:P)
Never let you down
I'm sitting here. Until the cafe's closing down, I'm going to sit here. As always. Imagine that the sky outside are filled with stars, not smoke. The air healthy and fresh. Fresh like the mountain air, just a blurry memory. My thoughts, flying from China to the moon. What if God was a her? What if this all is a test?The big man upstairs gotta have some other plans then this. I put my fingers where the last coffee cup obviously had been, pretending that it's still there, sipping the hot drink.
At the same moment a girl steppes into the room with an angel like glow. Just like you did all those years ago-like all the others did. Faithful, faithful to thee. We all got a dream that this world would be it, one day. One day we were going to love people more then ourselves. When did we lose our values? Or maybe we didn't, they just changed, like everything else. Money mixed with love was to become the new thing.
The world's full of this love now. My dream is to be free, from everything. Not the physical slavery, but everything that's there, even though you might not see it. You can almost feel something in that moment, all the hope. But still it's that crushing reality just outside my head. The pimps, hoes and junkies. All pieces in a twisted game.
The girl's moving towards me. She takes a seat, looks straight through me, just like you. I can see the filthy evening air becoming dark night. The clock on the wall ticks some seconds faster, and the new hour's here. Those normal phrases are all coming. We're both being cheerful, smiling and laughing. It's not that I'm not smiling inside, my girl. The time's just got the best of me, like so many others.
The waitress brings us our coffee. Coffee Mocha, two of them, we have the same taste, me and her. I put mine over the old mark, next to my imaginary cup.
She still got the spirit, don't let them get it. The most precious. She can see how I escape from the conversation at times. Still, she's lucky, and she knows that. I'm lucky, because of her being so unlike me, still flesh and blood.
The coffee tastes ****, like it always do here. But still, this is the spot. It's something about it, that's only ours. Seems like We're the only one sharing this- the cafe is emptier then my stomach.
It used to be all about the face and body. Now, I just want to be with you. She's still talking, about school, or food, or music. I'm trying to keep up with her, hang in there. Her eyes are sparkling, that familiar glimpsing. I'm able to come with some words, sentences, even a couple of good advice.
A heartbreaking sound's heard. It's her cell. I sit there, watch her get her things together. Feeling helpless, and so old, like from an other planet.“Same place, same time?” she asks with a big white smile. I'm nodding to the standard last words. It had become some kind of a good bye ritual.
I watch her walk elegantly out the door. Wonder where she's got that from? I laugh heartily of my own joke. If she only knew.
I'm not old, not at all. But my life's been so full of experiences. Can't be laid back, that's how it feels. Young in body, old in mind. Tired out at this endless circle, you might call it an evil one, depends on who's looking.
The cup's empty, totally. The waitress comes over again, she's going to make an approach, I can feel it. “She paid”, she says pointing to the door. “Your girl?” I would usually bite her off for being so nosy, but what good would that do me now? I could need some friends, sick of all the beefs. With a sigh I gently push out those words “Ye, ma girl, ma daughter”.
It's out there, God help me. It doesn't feel too bad, surprisingly. She's leaving, taking the cups with her. Something keeps her from continue the chat. She's going to close down now. I raise, a little dizzy after sitting for hours. There's a mark left on the table, and it would probably be there tomorrow too-and the day after. It was almost something kozy, and comforting about it. “Holla”I said glancing fast on the middle aged woman, “good night Charlie” she answers, and turn the lights out.
Out in the streets I can see a girl I noticed earlier that day. She looks my way, her black curly hair is like a wild river, and she's twirling it around her finger. I guess this is the time when i should just go home, something keeps me here. Its clear that i would be so annoyed by myself if i let the opportunity pass. Maybe that's the reason? Smiling, using some of my old classical tricks, and We're fast getting in touch. Not many minutes later We're ready for a night out. Again.
Maybe it's wrong? But it's on.
She's smiling and glimpsing her eyes, too much. So fake. Fun for just some hours at least.
Lifting my head to the sky before entering the club gives me a surprise, a star, many stars actually, now, in the middle of Chicago. “Come on baby”, she says and touch my knee flirty. I smile a big, charming smile while walking after.
It occurs to me, she could be you. Dancing into the crowd like a gipsy, winking me over to join her. She doesn't deserve it, to be used again. I owe you this. Suddenly I know that this time won't be like the others. I'm going home, before the night's over, maybe I'll see the stars again. Twinkling and sparkling like those eyes. Her stars.
Your stars my daughter.
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