Can't do it anymore, I don't know why I couldn't have ended everything the millions of times we have broken up or fought...
My boyfriend moved out of my old apartment and into a new one a long time ago. Then a few months ago, trying to save money we moved in together again... Regardless of the amount of fights we have and have had... He doesn't even pay half of the rent or the bills or anything... He is a slob. Never cleans anything, I have to do all of the laundry, his and mine. Suggesting not to do his wont work because I won't be able to walk around the tiny apt with his crap all over...
He plays video games until three hours before he has to work, then complains that he is tired... He plays video games from 8pm-6am ish... I never get to hang out with him. He isn't interested in anything... Even trying to be initmate with him at times is difficult...
I found some messages in his phone today that weren't to my liking... Other girls calling him hun, other girls saying why you miss me?? He deletes his outbox so I can't see what he sent them. Then he always claims that they sent him something that he had nothing to do with it.
He pissed into a container for his friend so that his friend could pass a drug test... A friend who he let stay in our home more than once with another dude I didn't know, after I told him not to!
He constantly tells me he can't deal with my negativity and my depression and says nothing will ever make me happy. Tries to tell me he does more than me than he ever did for any of his other girlfriends...
In the past we both cheated on each other, lied, and other crap... I thought we were over that. I have lied to myself one to many times, and been lied to more than that...
Why do I have to love a jerk, why is it so hard for me to say goodbye, when there are so many factors just showing how awful he is? ARG!
Hi there. I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation. I've been there before, for two years and it was horrendous. I can't tell you to just build up the strength and end it because I couldn't do it either. In the end, he split up with me. When he ended it, I didn't think I could hurt any more than I was. I was crying so hard, it would immobilise me.
He cheated on me a fair few times, and couldn't understand my self harm and eating problems; thought I was just wallowing in self pity.
I had much on my plate at the time, on top of him leaving me. I ended up going to my therapist for help. I'm sorry I'm not able to offer you a quick fix for this problem. I don't know what works for you. Is there anything you can think of that you think would help you?
But all I can say is that somehow, you really do need to get out of this relationship if you can. The pain afterwards was unbearable but once I started to heal I felt so much better than I felt when I was with him and things were going well. I really think it will benefit you to find some way of breaking up with him. I know that seems hard to believe!
I've now managed to find an incredible man who is not frightened by my SI and we've been together just over a year. You will be able to find someone like I have done. This won't be your last relationship and there ARE people out there who can treat you so much better than this guy is. You deserve more than this.
I hope my success story can be used as some kind of inspiration for you.
Last edited by MementoMori : 18-02-2008 at 04:12 PM.
Reason: spelling
Circa mea pectora, multa sunt suspiria.
De tua pulchritudine, que me ledunt misere.
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
you can't control who you love, unfortunately, but you can control who you date and stay with even though it's really hard
you clearly are giving so much right now, but just make sure that he really deserves it and that he is giving something back, too. does he actually deserve you? sometimes it can feel scary to be alone, but it is worse to be with the wrong person. only you know the answer, but if you are calling him a jerk and admitting that he lies to you and you lie to yourself about it, i think you may be much better off without somebody like him who takes advantage of you and manipulates you. good luck honey
xxxooo
hmmm. dunno what to advise. since noone can get you out of this but you. i would say that the facts speak for themselves and it is clear you should leave. but this is love not logic. try and realise you are in love with a person and a time that has passed. this boy you are with is not the one you fell for. things have changed, it is time for you to move on. but that is a realisation you must reach alone.
i spent 4 years with the wrong boy - well he was right but we both changed dramatically, we had hideous crucifying fights, we split a year ago, he is with someone new. but i still love him. and now we get on fine...and we still sleep together. but it's bullsh*t coz like i said, he's got a girl. i wish i had the balls to walk away...if you've got them, do it, or you'll be in the kind of head-f*ck situation im in now.
Wow sounds almost mirrored to a relationship I had. Please, try and get out of this. The only reason I was able to get out of mine is because I had a really supportive family that helped me move all of my things and get my name of the apartment lease we shared. It took me a while to recover from that relationship, but I did and I am so much happier.
Silence is golden, but ductape is silver.
