needy

[blondiebear]

Sorry I'm being a post pig.

I'm absolutely furious with myself. I missed seeing a friend yesterday and i'm mad because I missed that person and more because it matters so much. I'm so lost and needy right now that I want to see all of the faces I always see so that maybe my world will be safe. Most of the other usual people were there. I got/gave the girlfriend hugs and the hugs with the gents who who help so much. Just seeing the gents gives me a feeling of safety. One of the gents even complimented me on the skill of the work I'd done on a little gift for one of the ladies who is going to Alaska in March.

Then I got news from another friend who has met someone at the beach and this person hates rules like my friend does. So I'm having the selfish thoughts that i'm losing another person in my life. If I weren't in such a bad place I might be thinking about asking if I could make the wedding dress, or wouldn't my friend want me as an attendant at the wedding. That is probably what I will be able to say when I talk to her next week.

Right now I just feel like a poor pathetic needy selfish wretch. When I have so much to be thankful for. When the girlfriend with the date told me how cute the shirt I wore for V-day was and how to make it into an even better outfit. When the gents saw me safe to my car. When this morning another gent made a point of running his hands up and down my arms so they heal better!

I'm not mad at the other people. I'm mad at myself for needing other people so much. That my reactions were where are they and how could they, don't they know I need them?

I'm defeated because I wonder if my reactions will ever be normal and if I'll ever be healthy.

[Mouse81]

Hey,
I get mad at myself for feeling needy too...needy to the wrong people. I can't really comment on the rest but you aren't alone in feeling needy.

[Kija]

everyone is needy, i think that because we are so sensitive we take it further to heart then other people. my friend says that we need to try to change that inner voice that jumps to the worst conclusion, we're not sure how to do that though! you are not a selfish wretch for fear of being abandoned. i know that fear oh so well.
hope things get better for you.
i love you my ryl big sister
lots of hugs.
xxx

[pea soup]

oh hun...
*squishy snuggles*

i feel like im always needy. but i assure you we always feel like this sometimes.
its ok to need people.
and you make so much of a difference here on ryl.
you are a wonderful member and help so many.
so its definitely ok for you to be needy!!!!

*more squishy snuggles*
much much love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[fallen_guardian]

It's ok to feel needy, we all do sometimes. You help so much here, especially when I've posted, that you deserve the same, so don't feel bad about posting.

It's hard seeing your friends have something that you want and don't have yet, unfortunately it's part of life and it sucks. I struggle with the same feelings most days. It's just like "can't they see I need them even if I'm not asking"?

Take care.

[chocostashchick]

it's normal to need people - humans are a social species
it is only abnormal and unhealthy if it affects your relationships i think, like if you were super clingy or something? but it sounds like you are really self-aware and that you care about your friends so i wouldnt worry hun
i hope that was remotely helpful
hugs
xxxooo