Basically, I drink a lot, probably more then people already think/know,and I know that people think I drink a lot.
I take drugs more then people realise and a lot more then I'm willing to admit.
I know that on a "diagnoses" level or whatever,it'd totally be classed as a problem. That I'm hurting myself, or leading myself down a path that's ultimately leading to me being really ill.
I don't WANT to stop, I can't stop, and I don't think it's something I can stop until I want to,but I don't think I can want to stop until I understand the reasons behind doing it? If that makes any sense?
So basically, if you have, or feel like you have some sort of an issue with drinking, drugs, whatever, do you understand why you do it?
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
if you want to get in depth about it is all basically si in one form or another the fact you raise the issue shows you know its not a good thing or perhaps doesnt lead to positive constructive behaviour, addiction is a tuff one to deal with particualy if you have other 'issues' i gamble for a living and have variuos substance problems so im not helping myself really but its reconising your problem and wanting to help yourself is the first step in a positive direction, hope that helps and doesnt sound preachy or enything.
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
Depends what you class as SI I suppose,I'm not drinking, or doing drugs to hurt myself. I don't see if it SI,doubt I'm going to. I get why some people see it as such and things,but yeah,personally,not so much.
I'm aware that it's not "good", but at the same time I don't want to do anything about it, yet.
So hmm.
Yeah,thanks,I follow,don't agree,but yeah.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pedro
if you want to get in depth about it is all basically si in one form or another the fact you raise the issue shows you know its not a good thing or perhaps doesnt lead to positive constructive behaviour, addiction is a tuff one to deal with particualy if you have other 'issues' i gamble for a living and have variuos substance problems so im not helping myself really but its reconising your problem and wanting to help yourself is the first step in a positive direction, hope that helps and doesnt sound preachy or enything.
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
I don't really do drugs or drink, but I think my 'eating problems' are almost similar, and I think to a certain extent it might be relevant. Basically, I do it to forget. So that I can think about something else for a while. As a distraction, I suppose. It gives me something else to focus on. It's a feeling to look forward to, and to relish while it's there. When I'm in it, it makes me feel good. And I know that really it's terrible for me, and it's possibly ruining everything, but I can push that feeling aside for a while too.
I think everybody's different. I'm sorry that I can't answer your question for you though.
Take care
xx
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
those arnt necaserally my point s of view but an combination of some of the drs/pschys i seen over the years, on one point i will agree with them on if your taking meds you could be affecting the ability of the meds to work correctly...
i think that there must be some issue with it maybe if its only subconciuosly because you would not have made the post otherwise, (im not judging he says slurping smirnoff and coke), its a slippery thing addiction, do you think your an addict? i know i am and the fact im aware of my behaviour and tendancies helps me to understand my thought process abit better, and just reading your orginal post , why do i do it ? i dont know really (lol) , but im an addict , self medicating, easier than reality , entertainment, i like it etc etc. its more about managing your addictions/problems/conditions than anything else i think
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
I'm not expecting anyone to answer for me,so much as see why other people do it? See if the reasons I've given myself, are the same as anyone else's really?
I dunno,thanks =]
x
"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
i tell you one thing i wouldnt change anything about me if i had the choice, play the cards your given. the best hand doesnt always win.
cheers (raises glass)
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
I did it because it felt good- at first.
I started my addiction in the winter that everything went wrong.
but then i did it because it hurt so bad to stop,
so i had to keep getting higher and higher so i wouldn't come down.
then my life basically turned into trying not to come down.
so there were really two reasons,
the first one was to feel amazing,
and the second one was to not feel like i was dying.
Blessing all the birds that died so I could live
be a woman, be a woman
I use to drink rather alot - i dont know - and at the time i didnt see it as a problem but now i know it was. So i suppose i stopped drinking without aknowledging the courses of it.
However the issues underneath it all came out in other ways (SH, ED) so they are very much still there and its only now a long while later im starting to deal with that.
I completly understand not being ready for change...i spent a long tiime like that with my ED...
Crisis was what made me change...but that meant nearly dying...
Maybe though you see the problem your stil to some extent in some denial...
that relisation probably needs to take place in order for you to heal...
but i'd hate to see anything happen to you while you waited for that to happen.
Drink and drugs can be dangerous...as im sure your fully aware... an sometimes there is a point of no return...an even when / if you manage to return theres lots of regrets (for me anyway) so the sooner you can move from contemplating change to activly seeking change the better.
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
I think for me it started out as a way to block things out, sort of like an escape. Looking back now I'm finding it hard to describe why I actually did start drinking excessively but it's just an addiction now, although I guess I still see it as a way of blocking things out.
I'm not sure if that made sense, sorry =/
I hope you work it out soon though.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
