i'm very confused...

[Lucrena]

today i went and had my first meeting with a new therapist because the other one thought i didn't need that kind of help and i really don't i need someone that can deal with depression or know something about bipolar and that. so i was sent to her and she just is like she mad me so mad i wanted to start up everything i gave up and no ones made me that angry before no one and in the end she said she wouldn't take me because she couldn't help me...i mean i know i want to get better and not feel so down all the time thats what my thing was for what i wanted to get out of seeing her and i don't know how to achieve that if i did i wouldn't go in to see her right? but she went on the thing of if i don't know what i want or how to help myself then she wouldn't be of any use. i though therapists help you figure out what you want help you set a goal or something so your just not so lost in yourself i almost cried when i was there and thats never happened i felt so useless a piece of trash thats what i was in that office she ended it within 20 min saying that she can't help me and opened the door and and waited for me to leave i couldn't even get any other words in...so does that mean that theres no use in trying to get feel batter anymore? does that mean i'm a useless cause? she said i'd waste her time so is that what i do and while i'm at that am i wasting the air and space on this earth? i'm staring to rant and i don't think this is the place i don't know i can't think straight anymore or for the longest time but now am i just supposed to give up here thats what she told me right thats what i got out of it i have another therapist appointment tomorow and she's really good and she's just the nicest lady and the best therapist i've ever had but i can't keep her i can't afford it and the free ones i've went through so many and same message all the time so its angrifying and thats not a word i know but for now i'm letting it be one unless if it is one i have no idea i'm just ending this right here and hopefully i put this near the right place? sorry that i turned it into a rant its not really intended to be one...

[peccatophobia]

hi i want give you a hug first ,
you arnt a waste at all , Ive had 6 years of this and they in end made me go to see two people for a saico evaluation ,but this made things worse ,as they gave me labels i do not want or like ,and told me i had to have an indefinite psychiatrist and hole heap of people from services ,but guess Wat Wat happened to you happened to me so Wat i had to do was put in a complaint to local n.h.s I'm waiting to hear from them ,as the people ho ordered me to have support was the forensics top people, and they wont let it go until my needs be met ,but they won't talk to me ,its all making me down to ,so i know how you feeling Hun ,its not you no its not ,hope you get another appointment with a different one ,take cear ,