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Now all our memories are haunted.
Join Date: Aug 2007
I am currently:  
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Triggering - Valentines Day poems.
The Roses.
I feel like ive been blindsided
and thrown into a thorny rose bush
So delicately beautiful,
so eerily evil
hissing lingers from my lips
from the breaths i take as the thorns slice into me
Red spills from the blank canvas,my body provides,
but the blood drops are hidden among the roses
One last chance to dance
Once upon a dream ago....
I fell and lived
In shadows.
Im like that child
That cant find thier way
With a heart that bleeds
A dark shade of grey
I'd sit for hours
Alone while i cried,
Sooner or later
I witnessed my spirit die.
My reflection smiled
While tormenting these tears
The pain lasted days...
Months and then years.
I remember praying
As crimson fell from these wrists
All the razor wanted
Was to give me a kiss...
I'd pray for salvation
To rid me of the sting
CUz i knew of the heartache
My new friend would bring
But the razor did listen
And heard all my tears
It showed me compassion
Love, and conquered `fears.
Starving for blood
Wont stop till its fed
Over and over
I'd cut till i bled.
Oneday however
I dreampt i found love
So beautiful and wonderful...
just like i thought of.
He was charming and sweet...
Leaving me blushing
as he nuzzles my cheek
His kisses would smooth my skin...
He loved me i thought...
for what i had within...
His eyes when they wandered
Could read me like a book.
He could chill me I swear...
with one gazing look.
Just as i thought
i had acheived a fairy book ending...
It all fell apart,
And the return of my black heart is still pending
Found poems on scrap paper, i used to write poetry in class... here are just a few.
The fly
~this one is about how my self consciousness is like a fly on the wall. It just never goes away.
It's black beady eyes
Glare at me through the dark
Forever watching,
Forever feeding from my flesh.
The rotting decay,
from my insides,
Amuse the fly on my wall
Forever critisizing,
Forever gasping for air,
Years from having this disease on my wall
Has reproduced an endless swarm,
Forever pleading for escape,
Forever bleeding for an answer
The stench from infected
wounds long forgotten,
Make my eyes water,
Forever feeding off my fears,
Forever loving my insecurities,
It's beady eyes,
wont leave me alone
Reacurring Dreams
She's dried up on the inside,
From reacurring dreams,
Her body wont stop hurting,
Long after she sleeps,
Her finger nails are black,
And her head pounds from the music,
Headphones in her ears,
Fishnets cover gashes,
She wants to touch him,
Tell him all her secrets,
He'll make the tear drops stop,
But shes just too f***ed up.
Heaven doesnt exist
Aching,
She's breaking,
Heart is bleeding,
Through the bars of this cage,
Numbness...
just save her,
Awake her...
from the high of being dead,
The razor,
will take her,
To the bliss of crimson tracks,
"There's no one,
who knows me"
She hides behind a mask.
Forsaken.....
by father,
Hiding,
from mother,
Longing,
Wrong timing,
Belonging to no one.
Weakness,
in her eyes,
Falling to the pavement,
breaking,
both her knees,
Crawling,
still crying,
To a heaven she prays exists.
Claustrophobic,
Can't breathe,
His smile invades her dreams,
Hypnotized,
by hazel eyes,
Jaded by his love,
All around,
her worlds falling down,
But all she wants is him,
Fending off, the hellish screaming,
To find her way back to him,
He'll never know,
how out of control,
or deep her scar tissue grows,
Too ashamed
to show her face,
But he makes her feel alive,
"My glass heart"
I will never break again, I know better than that. Cant express these tears except through years of breaking skin below the sleeve. Screaming nightmares of painfilled stories haunt me in the day. Bags under these hazel eyes from restless nights, of crying in your sleep. Never felt like the world cared, never thought i was more than what i was taught. Never wanted anything but to feel loved. Missing peices from my glass heart, took the shards and cut them into myself so i could feel anything but this pain. Unbearable heartache. Nothing in my life feels right. Nothing is ever completely right. My whole being has been a mistake. I need to gain the courage i need to deny my feelings.
I used to feel empty, but now... mostly lost. I just need someone to talk to...
Unnamed
She sits beside her open window,
And from the stars dangle all the secrets
she ever whispered,
All the prayers
never answered,
And all the tears
no one ever saw.
Shards of glass from a broken mirror,
Lie bloody on the floor,
The carpets been stained
with years of self hating,
Years of lonely aching,
She cries alone.
Over a porcelin lake she drowns,
gagging up all her imperfections,
A memorie she cuts to forget,
haunts her when she dreams,
Afraid to sleep... afraid to keep... bottling all of this down
Screaming through the bars of a cage,
Fear bottled up inside,
Still she feels so empty,
plastic smiles paint her face,
Pity... thats not what i wanted,
Guilt... its like choking choking
The Ultimate perfection
She said she thought it felt awful,
There was pain in her eyes,
Every second it aches her,
From the scars held inside,
She wants to let go,
To be set free from her sins,
Sent away into battle,
Against the demons from within,
She'll cut at her skin,
Put two fingers down her throat,
To become the ultimate perfection,
Her heart cant stay afloat.
She's dying inside...
Stuck
There's something crawling in my head. Scratching at neglected memories.
Her eyes are crystal blue, but there's danger behind her glare. Past the pupil to her eye a cage holds a secret within its bars. Helpless and alone... she reaches for a jar of pills. I stand there watching as she swallows each one desperately. There's nothing i can do for her to hear my frantic screams. Tears fall from her cheeks breaking into shards of glass when they hit the floor. Slicing at her feet.... curled up in a ball, she bleeds. I dont want to watch her die... i dont want to see her dissapear. I see a part of me... flaring in her. I see the same sadness and desperation that consumed every inch of my body. Her heart is aching... but theres nothing she feels she can do.
If it hurts i crumble
I hate it when i fall. Head first, with a stupid grin on my face until i hit the gravel. If i split my lip open, i just lie there stupidly while my face is dripping with blood. I wait expectantly for the impact of your good-byes, but everytime i hear it, it slices me up inside. You think that i'd learn from the first time i had my heart broken... but again and again i ask for it. I chose all the wrong times to fall.
Its always unrequitted.
Scribbles
Alone she lays there dying,
Afraid to weep into her palms,
Tears tore through her insides,
Splitting her heart, she remains calm.
Fading away into nothingness,
Her fears are never told,
Something inside her screams for life,
The silence is too bold,
But all alone she'll wait for someone,
To release her from this hurt,
She's caged without a key,
Her mind wont set her free
Afraid.
Stop my heart from feeling,
His dimpled smile paralizes,
Eyes dig deeper,
Than the cuts above the surface,
Breaking apart
The vicious cycle that condones
This hurt,
Lashing out with fangs,
It makes you flee,
IT makes me bleed,
Standing next to you
Cuts me up inside,
So unable to kiss your lips,
Or wrap my arms around,
Your hips,
Breathing softly
Too afraid to let you in.
First DAte
Softly he whispers I love you,
The dewy grass carresses my back,
For a moment i'd stop breathing,
Everytime you'd kiss me,
The stars they shined thier brightest
While you kept me warm from the cold,
Keeping me safe from the dark,
Your icy breath still lingers against my neck,
Because you left me all alone.
Walking
So many thoughts trapped inside my head,
Nothing feels clear,
Wishing i was dead,
My heart is torn,
I only smile when i bleed,
Something wont surrender,
To the little girl in me,
Fading into nothingness,
She screams,
But they
walk
past her.
Her suicide
Across the road she walked,
Tears falling from the sky,
With every step it sliced her,
But she winced away the pain,
Heart shaped lips once soothed,
Her hidden scars,
And everynight away she'd dream,
To vanish with the stars,
Nobody knew why she screamed,
Or why she wouldnt talk,
The young girl's fear consumed her being,
Look deep into the iris,
Tell me what you see,
Because her emptyness fills out
In the way that she bleeds.
enjoy!!!!
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Insight on humanity
