Possibly Triggering - I need an opinion on these song lyrics
Ive just restarted a band at school after the drummer left, so now theres 2 of us, so the lyrics need to be quite strong bcz of the lack of music we can make without multitracking.
So, can someone say if theres anything i could improve on these lyrics or any opinions etc.
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A bleeding angel spreads her wings,
Tattered and torn by the winds.
A life she could live without,
She needs to find a way out
Of this dream she seems to be trapped in,
She wants to find out what
A normal life is like
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i havent written a chorus yet, thats just verse 1 and the pre chorus
Thanks for looking
Enemy - Show me what you wanna be, I can handle anything, even if i can't handle you. Readily - Either way it better be, don't you f*cking pity me. Get up, get off
If you fear death, it proves you have a life worth living that you want to live.
Enemy - Show me what you wanna be, I can handle anything, even if i can't handle you. Readily - Either way it better be, don't you f*cking pity me. Get up, get off
If you fear death, it proves you have a life worth living that you want to live.
blustery doesnt fit but the rest is good, thanks, ill acknowledge you on the website when its up :)
Enemy - Show me what you wanna be, I can handle anything, even if i can't handle you. Readily - Either way it better be, don't you f*cking pity me. Get up, get off
If you fear death, it proves you have a life worth living that you want to live.
...Seems alittle chiche to me. I mean, I love lyrics, love love love love lyrics, which is why I listen to Neutral Milk Hotel and Of Montreal.
I love it when people get obscure as well, like...Of Montreal has a song called "The past is a grotesque animal", and it has one of the greatest lines ever. It's about his wife leaving him, and how she tortured his soul, and he describe it like this:
"Somehow you've red rovered, the gestapo circling my heart,
And nothing can defeat you, no death no ugly word!
You've lived so brightly, you've altered everything,
I find myself searching for old selves, WHILE BEATING FORWARD THROUGH THE PLATEGLASS OF MATURING CELLS"
GOD I love that song.
But talking of bleeding angels is somewhat cheesy, describe an angel without actually saying angel. For example Jeff mangum calls for Blister.
"Blister please with those wings in your spine"
But on the other hand, somethings have to be straight to the point.
A subtle blend of the two works well.
Sorry, I babbled. I just love music and lyricism, which I also believe most "metal" lacks.
