Basically i spoke to a lady lastnight that deals with child protection at my old secondary school, i've known her for ages as i'm good mates with her son and she has always known about my self harm. She has always been a great support to me. so anyway..
Lastnight she gave me a call to catch up and check how my recovery is going and she started talking about school, obviously she couldn't go into any details but she told me that there has been a huge increase in self harm at school and she's really worried and stuff.
So i said that i'd be quite happy to go into school and have a word with the children and offer help and support from a girl who has been through it for so long. She thought this was a brilliant idea and said she would check with the headmaster.
So i'm quite excited as this is what i want to do when i finish my studies anyway, but the more i think about it the more nervous i get.
So i just wondered do you have any advice for me?
Should i ask questions or just let them ask me questions?
Any advice would be brilliant.
hi well its pretty natural that u should feel nervous, but in a way feel good for ya sel as if its what u wanna do when u leave school then u are not only boosting your confidence but boostin ur career.
Any way when you go in to school you should some how broadcast the word that u are offerin help and advice to those who may self harm or know some one who does..! askin questions may not be what they expect .! so let them approach u and ask u the first question and then as it goes on and if its appropriate then ask a question as long as its convinient to the conversation ..! and offer your advice in total confidence that u wont say any thing as u know what its like to go thru what they may be experianceing...!
hope thats anything for u to go bye hun and good luck yh as i think ur doing a really brave and wonderfull thing ..!
thankyou for your reply lee
that has helped me a lot considering i really didn't have a clue what i was going to do. I was counting on just getting there, opening my mouth and seeing what comes out.
also welcome to ryl :)
xxx
Hey, I'd just go with the flow. Let people ask you questions rather than maybe coming across as though you are trying to push the converstation. I guess it depends on the situation you are going to be in - are you gonna be put in a room with a load of people and have to talk to them about it, or are people going to be told you are somewhere if they want to talk?
If you are going to do a talk first, make a few notes of what you wanna say. Use yourself as a guidline, think what you wish you had known, tell them how you started, why (if you don't mind sharing that information). Make sure they know you are not the only one, that they aren't alone, that everyones problems are big in their own way and people deal with things differently. I know it is hard to get stats on self harm but maybe pull some stuff out of articles on the main site to use in your talk?
Make sure it is obvious that you are there if anyone wants to talk or ask questions afterwards.
It'd probably be better to let the kids ask the questions, but then you're faced with the problem that they might be too nervous to ask questions. They might be worried that everyone in the room would think that they were a self harmer, and they probably don't want people to suspect that about them.
I think it might be good to try and create a kinda chatty atmosphere... if that makes any sense at all.
Uh, yeah this was a pretty pointless reply.
Good luck!!
"Look, from my experience I can tell you that no one is gonna solve your problems for you. You have to deal with your own demons. They're in your head, not anyone elses"
"I like my demons. I consider them close personal friends. In fact, we enjoy each other's company immensely
Thankyou both for your replies
i think its going to be one to one me and them really
i think we will keep the children separate so they don't feel uncomfortable like you said.
I'm just worried that they will just sit there and say nothing
but i know that if i had this opportunity at their age i would make the most of it.
I want them to talk to me but i dont want to seem too pushy obviously
i just need to get the right balance.
I think i'm scaring myself even more just thinking about it!
xxx
Ok, maybe ask a couple of questions. Like, Have you heard of self harm before? What do you think about people who do it? Do you think there is enough support? I don't have a clue lol! But maybe asking them a few questions will soften them up. OR just ask them something really stupid like, do you prefer thongs or pants? try and make them laugh, lighten the mood. Talk about you, talk about other people who you know, tell them if they want to know anything else but don't feel comfortable talking to you that there are sites they can go on - (like this one!) I am sure you will do fine.
All good advice above. You will probably get a kid or two who probably doesn't want to say much. But let them know that thats what the school counselors are there for, if they ever have a problem, want to talk, all that good stuff. :)
That is awesome that you are going back and discussing it with them.
I am proud of you. :)
Last edited by raistlin : 11-06-2007 at 07:54 AM.
Reason: Having spelling issues.
aww thankyou raistlin that made me smile :)
Thankyou everyone for your help
i think i will definitely recommend ryl and then i can help them on here aswell.
xxx
That's a fantastic idea, good luck with it!
They might be shy at first, but I'd advise you to just start a normal conversation if they dont ask questions or feel uncomfortable. It can just flow from there.
Dont hesitate to come with printed out information about RYL or other sites. If the problem is touching a few kids, the counsellors could also buy a couple books about SH that they could lend out or something.
I'm sure it's going to work out anyway. Don't worry!
Thankyou for all your support and advice
just an update ive been given the go ahead by the headteacher
so i should starting in the coming weeks
i'm really excited about it all.
Thanks again
xxx
I'm a volunteer at a few organisations. If I ever have to talk about problems that theyre having I always tell a story in connection with it that has happened to me. If they realise that I'm friendly, I understand and that I won't judge they're a lot more likely to open up. Good luck!xx
