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Triggering (SI) - poem i wrote
The demon within me is calling,
Telling me to do stupid things.
I try to control it,
Try to tell it “no.”
But it doesn’t listen
All it is worried about is getting what it wants.
I am getting sick of fighting it.
I’m not sure how much more I have to give…
Maybe I should just give in…
Maybe I should just let it win…
The fight isan’t over yet;
I still have a little left..
But not too much
It is nearing the end..
It is going to win again,
I’m not strong enough to fight anymore.
I keep telling myself “no”
It keeps telling me “yes”
Which one should I listen to..?
The “no” overpowered the “yes”
It got what it wanted…for me to give in
It won, I lost..again
I hate to make people upset.
I hate to have to lie.
I want to be normal, but I guess I just can’t be
I was doing so well,
But now that’s skrewed up,
Just because I wasn’t strong enough to fight it anymore.
Though, it is not as big of a skrew up as it wished it would have been..
It still is a skrew up.
It seems as though I am really good at skrewing up.
Now, I start over…
Hoping that next time, I will have the strength to just say, “no”
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