hii im sorry youre having a hard time at the moment lovey,,
getting help is scary but will be beneficial in the long term. listen to the part of you that wants help. maybe you can write down a list of things you are looking forward to, or things you enjoy. then you can focus on them, as reasons for getting help.
please dont end it. can you call anyone? if not theres always helplines, and iv found it helpful to ring helplines before just to have someone to vent to, to keep me busy for a while.
also, distractions can be good, internet games, tv, favourite films, music etc.
look after yourself, things wont always be as bad xxx
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