Does anyone here suffer from schizophrenia/psychosis?
What meds do you take?
What experiences have you had with the illness?
I suffer from schizophrenia and I take Abilify, which only kills off 50% of the symptoms (still hear and see things, and still am extremely sensitive to stress, which can trigger the voices and paranoia to end me up in a bad situation). I just wondered if anyone would care to share their experience. I shouldn't tell you mine as it is long and not very nice. But I am interested in hearing about other people.
Thanks.
SM
Yes I suffer from psychosis. I take respirdal. Have been taking it for nearly 2 years now. I have had so many psychotic experiences. But a few that have happened for me, is I have had delusions. I believed i was the virgin mary for a month a couple of years ago. I believed I had a child, who was taken from me at birth, but i couldnt remember it happening because it was too traumatic. I thought it was taken off me because social services thought id harm the baby. I spoke to people about it, but when they told me i never had a baby, i couldnt believe them, i was convinced i had a child. And i went out looking for her. I wanted to take children from their parents arms because i thought she was my child. Luckily, that delusion went away after a couple of months.
At the moment, i wouldnt say i was delusional. But I feel like theres someone watching me, and following me, and they can see my every move. And hes waiting for the right moment to come and kill me. Im convinced its going to happen, and i feel frightened all the time.
I have "seen things" before too, usually dead bodies, and murder victims. I see zombies. Really scary to see the things i do.
I hear voices sometimes too. I heard some today and yesterday. They were saying i was going to die. Over and over they kept saying it. And they said i was dirty for eating, and i was fat and a b**ch. Its really frightening. Ive heard angels speaking to me before, telling me to sacrifice my life so they can be free from the devil. They were trapped in hell for some reason. And they wanted me to rescue them.
Yeah theyre some of my experiences, i know it can be frightening, when you're psychotic because you feel alone with it, and no-one believes what you say.
Your words reminded me of how I felt...I am touched by your honesty. I had (and still do have to a lesser degree) persecutory delusions. I still see things and hear things.
"i know it can be frightening, when you're psychotic because you feel alone with it, and no-one believes what you say."
These words ring with truth. The bad thing is that even my doctor doesn't believe me.
Psychosis is such a horrible thing, and I am sorry that we have to suffer it. Schizophrenia was the one reason why I am on the "named victim" NHS list, but I am not the victim... But what could I do when voices were screaming at me, when I was convinced that the doctor was trying to kill me with her commands, when I could see the woman in a black dress holding a knife at me. It was terrifying. And then they stuck me in a PICU which did not help me get better. I believe that medication helped, but the "treatment" I received from the nurses did not help.
Sorry for talking about that.
Keep in touch with me, little miss. Steel9Maiden@gmail.com
Yeah, that does sound terrifying. Im sorry you had to experience that. And im sorry the help didnt actually help. You dont have to be sorry for talking about it, we are here to support you and help you =)
And i really do understand where you're coming from. I say to the dr whats wrong with me, and he just says like "mmm..hmm.." like yeah right, what do you know?" its so frustrating.
hi ,hello, Wat if they doctors say you got these conditions and illnesses and you don't believe them ,as I'm totally not seeing Wat they say i am i was on hariperodol but now just diazepam as awaiting another shrink appointment ,i do totally believe I'm a spirit from the future as i speak and think so advance and different to most ,every thing affects me thats way me shut my self from the world and humans as things trigger me very quick ,you know i totally believe in my believes but I'm beginning to question way they doctors think its not true ,I'm not having it really ,well people run wen you tell them my labels I'm running from them to , thats all i can say as my head will jump in ,
Little Miss,
Are you in the adult services? I am (I have turned 18 a few months ago), and it is s***. I get more support at school than from my mental health team.
Thank you for being so kind.
2005 was the most traumatic year of my life.
The result of attacking that doctor (I didn't actually hurt her though) was that I was pinned down to a bed for 6 1/2 hours by five nurses and given an i.m. at the end. That attack was why I got sent to the PICU. In the PICU, their method of restraint is to throw the person down on a bed, hold them down so hard that the person gets bruised (I had bruises all over my arms and legs), and twist the person's arm behind their back. It was so painful, and just added to my terror. I looked it up later and saw that for a 16-year old, it is actually against the mental health act guidelines (I was sectioned) to do that.
Sigh...
You are so kind, thank you.
hi ,hello, Wat if they doctors say you got these conditions and illnesses and you don't believe them ,as I'm totally not seeing Wat they say i am i was on hariperodol but now just diazepam as awaiting another shrink appointment ,i do totally believe I'm a spirit from the future as i speak and think so advance and different to most ,every thing affects me thats way me shut my self from the world and humans as things trigger me very quick ,you know i totally believe in my believes but I'm beginning to question way they doctors think its not true ,I'm not having it really ,well people run wen you tell them my labels I'm running from them to , thats all i can say as my head will jump in ,
Humans trigger me badly too. I tend to be worse around people than by myself. I am by myself now and I am actually quite content on the internet. Put me in school, or with my Mum and I will degenerate into s**ttiness.
Doctors can be so useless.
I haven't told anyone (not even my two friends) that I have schizophrenia. If word got around, I would be ostracised, and parents of the girls at school would be calling the school up, asking for me to be excluded. It happened last time I went to hospital for a long time. Rumour got around that I went to the psych ward, and parents wanted me removed from school.
Sad.
I like you.
hi it must be very difficult for you ,have you a best Friend in your school ? i know a girl ho is in school but she has to go special school ,she OK with it and it work's for her ,life is difficult ,i tried to kill one doctor i had ,but i never got sectioned or out ,i just got appointed a new doctor ,people just don't understand do they don't blame your self ,we are the way we are so chin up laugh at them for being ignorant , take cear
Steel Maiden-yes i am in adult services. I turned 18 last May. I agree with you that its bad. They really need to change it. I havent seen a psychologist yet and ive been transferred to adult team since june time. And am still on the waiting list-I am NOT impressed at all!
Whats an i.m?
That was really out of order for them to hurt you like that. You should sue them for doing that to you.
How many times have you been admitted to hospital?
How did you react when they told you you had schitzophrenia? Did it scare you?
Im waiting to see the doctor in the next couple of weeks, to see if they can find out whats wrong with me. My CPN thinks it may be schitzophrenia, and im kinda scared about it.
i have schizophrenia and take clozaril (clozapine) clopixol pyridoxine and citalopram thenprocycladine for side effects. I hear a spirit, see things, have dellsions quite often i have strange moods of highs and lows but i dont really get that many highs anymore.
If you want toknowmore detail you can PM me but itll be long. hope your okay xx
Ive been told i have delusions, i call them weird thoughts because to me they are true. I take abilify too. I dont know if im psychotic, but i thought i killed someone, and i was being followed too. and people put thoughts in my head. i have a feeling that its "not true" but i believe it nevertheless x
hi it must be very difficult for you ,have you a best Friend in your school ? i know a girl ho is in school but she has to go special school ,she OK with it and it work's for her ,life is difficult ,i tried to kill one doctor i had ,but i never got sectioned or out ,i just got appointed a new doctor ,people just don't understand do they don't blame your self ,we are the way we are so chin up laugh at them for being ignorant , take cear
I have a best friend in school, but I fear to talk about the schiz-word because I just can't. I feel ashamed of it. What is the special school to which the girl goes to like? If you don't mind me asking, how did you try to kill a doctor? I think I was sectioned because I was in a meeting on the ward, when the voices physically took me over, and I found myself lunging at her and grabbing her neck. Then I was torn off by two nurses and what happened next was terrifying. What is worse is when the voices took me over again in the secure ward and I tried to stab a nurse.
I will try not to blame myself. I am getting better slowly, I think the meds are finally working, as today I felt...good...for an hour.
Thank you,
SM
Steel Maiden-yes i am in adult services. I turned 18 last May. I agree with you that its bad. They really need to change it. I havent seen a psychologist yet and ive been transferred to adult team since june time. And am still on the waiting list-I am NOT impressed at all!
Whats an i.m?
That was really out of order for them to hurt you like that. You should sue them for doing that to you.
How many times have you been admitted to hospital?
How did you react when they told you you had schitzophrenia? Did it scare you?
Im waiting to see the doctor in the next couple of weeks, to see if they can find out whats wrong with me. My CPN thinks it may be schitzophrenia, and im kinda scared about it.
Yes, the adult services are awful - my doctor keeps forgetting what meds I'm on. Waiting lists are horrible, I think I was lucky with my waiting period, probably because my wonderful adolescent psychiatrist made a huge fuss.
i.m. stands for intramuscular. When I say "an i.m.", it means "an injection that goes into a muscle (usually in the back or the arm)". Its a type of chemical restraint, i.e. they injected me to sedate me quickly.
I would sue them, but they could claim that I was imagining it.
I've been admitted to hospital 3 times (3rd time I was sectioned).
When they told me, my mind exploded; I was so angry with them, I didn't believe I was ill, that I ended up being restrained. It scared me sh*tless.
I hope that you will get a diagnosis, which will be followed by intensive help, soon, as waiting is no good. Schizophrenia gets worse and worse if you don't treat it, so I hope that you get help soon.
Stay strong,
SM
Ive been told i have delusions, i call them weird thoughts because to me they are true. I take abilify too. I dont know if im psychotic, but i thought i killed someone, and i was being followed too. and people put thoughts in my head. i have a feeling that its "not true" but i believe it nevertheless x
Now that I've come to terms with my illness, I feel like you do. I still get delusional, but I do have that small feeling that its "not true". I still find myself talking to people in my head too, among other things.
I had some experiences like this when i was veru unwell a few years ago.
I used to see demons and here them talking to me and about me. I thought i was being attacked by the devil (still think i was) and the demons were messing with my head.
They put me on lots of various meds for it, some worked.
I feel so so angry and upset by the way i was treated in hospital. I was never very violent to others but was restrained and injected countless times and sectioned a number of times completely unnecessarily.
I still feel very paranoid when i'm not doing well, but haven't had hallucinations in a few years.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
I have a best friend in school, but I fear to talk about the schiz-word because I just can't. I feel ashamed of it. What is the special school to which the girl goes to like? If you don't mind me asking, how did you try to kill a doctor? I think I was sectioned because I was in a meeting on the ward, when the voices physically took me over, and I found myself lunging at her and grabbing her neck. Then I was torn off by two nurses and what happened next was terrifying. What is worse is when the voices took me over again in the secure ward and I tried to stab a nurse.
I will try not to blame myself. I am getting better slowly, I think the meds are finally working, as today I felt...good...for an hour.
Thank you,
SM
hi , i had enough one day and went in with a knife to stab him my head gets stuff in it and there we have it ,but Ive done other stuff that i have no idea of doing out ,but a m8 tells me next day ,I'm like do i believe my m8 or Wat but Any how ,glad your meeds are working and you feel a lot better , my Friend goes to a learning difficult school not main stream ,she gets picked up and dropped off , i know Wat you mean about its ocward telling m8's about your illness ,it can be a bit tricky , take cear
Hi, i have psychosis and i am on risperdol, i hear things, see things and did have this girl (Amy) living inside of me. i would nightmares about dieing and rotting away and being trapped in coffins. i didnt believe i had psychosis i did not take my medication,i got really ill, started doing what the voices and Amy were telling me to do (SI and SU) i eventually was admitted to hospital in Nov 07 bcoz i was too ill. they forced me to take my meds and it really changed my life. I have not SI/SU since i was discharged from hospital. Seeing how ill some of those people in there were really made me think. I was the youngest there. amy had control over my life for years, when i left hospital, i left her in there, some how she got out of me, i feel really sad that she has gone, that i left her in hospital bcoz it wasnt a nice place, she was really the only friend i had, i thought by acting on what she said we could be friends but it didnt work like that. As i walked out of hospital with my suitcase in one hand and my meds in the other i didnt look back, i didnt want to see Amy crying, as i walked away, as i was crying as i left, i miss her but i kno its a good thing she has gone.
Hmmm social anxiety comes to mind when reading your posts. I'm no dr or anything but sometimes (severe) panic attacks might mimic symptoms from other mental diseases. I wonder if they ever talked to you about that?
Hi, i have psychosis and i am on risperdol, i hear things, see things and did have this girl (Amy) living inside of me. i would nightmares about dieing and rotting away and being trapped in coffins. i didnt believe i had psychosis i did not take my medication,i got really ill, started doing what the voices and Amy were telling me to do (SI and SU) i eventually was admitted to hospital in Nov 07 bcoz i was too ill. they forced me to take my meds and it really changed my life. I have not SI/SU since i was discharged from hospital. Seeing how ill some of those people in there were really made me think. I was the youngest there. amy had control over my life for years, when i left hospital, i left her in there, some how she got out of me, i feel really sad that she has gone, that i left her in hospital bcoz it wasnt a nice place, she was really the only friend i had, i thought by acting on what she said we could be friends but it didnt work like that. As i walked out of hospital with my suitcase in one hand and my meds in the other i didnt look back, i didnt want to see Amy crying, as i walked away, as i was crying as i left, i miss her but i kno its a good thing she has gone.
take care X
That is so inspirational and it means a lot to me. I remember the Woman in the Black Dress begginng me not to take my meds, as they would eradicated her. She was on her knees, crying and begging, but I took the meds, and she is gone, except that other things have replaced her instead.
