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Triggering (SI) - apeshit....
a friend of mine's been suicidal for a lot of months... but she's still here..
anyway, she knows about my SI problems..
and you know what??
she says she's really really thinking about cutting.. saying that it might help her.. etc... this is when i really want to kill myself for even putting that into her head!!! GAH!!!! WTF?????????
oh man.. i shouldn't have confided in her... now, i'm just going to make things worse... and she doesn't understand wat the heck she's thinking about!!! so, what can i do????
oh man.. she has it into her head that no one cares about her.. and i mean... wtf????? she just can't see it now, i understand...
and GOD! why does she have to think of doing this?? oh man. it's all my fault...
but i don't cut to handle stress or anything...
i do it coz i hate myself..
and i'm like going "why did you have to tell her???" *cut* "race! look what you've done???" *cut* "you stupid idiot.. you can't tell someone without hurting them bad, can't you see that???" *cut*. i wonder why i even bother to tell someone about my problems.. i'll just add to theirs...
:'(
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