Ok so about 10 minutes ago,i told my best friend how low i was,and she told me that i best not cut,so i told her i wasn't going to,but she doesn't believe me. She said she's going to take an o/d.
She's been collecting them for a long time
Everytime i self-harm she's going to,apparently!
I don't know what i'm supposed to do,this is all my fault!
no offense, but for starters, if your best friend's ONLY reason to OD is to keep you from SH-ing, she needs to get her priorities straight. This is a form of blackmail! She needs to realize that it certainly won't help you (obviously) all it will do is make you feel more guilty & worse. And if she is willing to risk her health and life in that way to prevent you from SH-ing, she needs to rethink things. You should NOT feel responsible for this. There are so many other healthy, more loving ways she could help you--talking to you about why you're so low, comforting you, being with you, etc. Remind her that taking an OD will only make things worse for you, only give you one more reason to worry, one more problem to cope with. Let her know that you understand she wants to help but that this is one of the worst ways she could. Find out more about her plans to OD--does she have any other reasons? She might need the love and support from you as much as you need it from her.
But she thinks this helps me,she thinks it stops me from self-harming.
Yes this is the only reason,everything in her life is fine,she's always really happy,and it's not a front because she tells me everything.
She phoned me at about 4am this morning telling me she felt like she was dying.
She took it,i tried phoning her mum but she wouldn't answer.
I told her she had to go to the hospital,she said she was too scared. I said i was going to phone an ambulance for her,and she said if i did she wouldn't speak to me again.
I phoned it though and she phoned me about 40 minutes ago and said she's still there and she can't sleep because she's been crying since she got there.
This is all my fault.
I must be the worst friend ever
I hate me right now.
Sometimes, people do things in hope that they will help - this isn't always the case!!
You are not the worst friend, you are struggling and that doesn't make you a rubbish friend, it just means that you are in need of some support, that's all. Doesn't make you a bad friend at all!
Are you sure there isn't something that is making her feel low?
Take care, and you make sure you stay strong. This isn't your fault. xxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Yeh she's at the hospital now.
I feel like a horrible friend,her mum is never going to forgive me :(
No well at least i don't think so,she was as happy as anything yesterday.Unless there's something she's not telling me,which i doubt,then she's fine :(
Her mum cannot possibly have anything to forgive you for sweetie!! It wasn't your fault!
Ok, so you told her what was going on in your life, that doesn't mean that you *made* her do it. There may have been a mix of stuff that made her do this, it isn't a 'normal' reaction to have. You look at all the people on here who have spoken to someone about what is going on, not everyone's friend has reacted in this way! I expect, that there is slightly more than meets the eye happening, and perhaps, just perhaps this was a cry for help from her?
You are not a horrible friend, you were the one who got her to the hospital, you were the one that phoned the ambulance! If that is a horrible friend, I'd be quite happy to have a 'horrible' friend. xxxxxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
you are a wonderful friend for getting help for her! I too suspect that there may be other reasons that you don't know about. This is obviously only making you feel worse; you need to make her realize that; let her know it DOESN'T help you. Maybe come up with a few ways that she CAN help you. Once she's better sit down and talk you her; find out if anything else is bothering her, and explain to her that this only affects you negatively.
Do NOT feel guilty about this. She may say she did it because you SH-ed but you did not force her to take the OD, she did it herself and it was out of your power. Maybe you should sit down and talk w/ her and her mom?
*cuddles close*
please please PLEASE take care of yourself, too.
I don't know what's happened to her now,nobody's telling me anything.
I want to be with her so bad. We was meant to be going town tomorrow,sunday is our day. I've not told my mum yet,i've still told her i'm going town tomorrow,but i'll be on my own.
I HATE MYSELF.
Maybe there is other stuff going on with her that i don't know about,maybe she's not telling me everything. But i know for sure,she wouldn't have took an o/d if i never self-harmed. She's took a few before this,only told me,this is the only time i've phoned the ambulance.Only time i feel like crap as well.
I am going to speak to her when she gets out,well she may be already but nobody tells me fxcking anything.
this sounds like such a horrible situation to be in *hugs*
listen, its not your fault at all please dont be so hard on yourself
shes the one that chose to OD, you didnt force her
she made that decision, and it sounds like she needs help herself for using such extreme measures against you
please take care of yourself, and tell your mum- itll probably make you feel better and your mum might be able to find out whats going on for you considering shes an adult and so has more rights and stuff.
Maybe there is other stuff going on with her that i don't know about,maybe she's not telling me everything. But i know for sure,she wouldn't have took an o/d if i never self-harmed. She's took a few before this,only told me,this is the only time i've phoned the ambulance.Only time i feel like crap as well.
have her previous ODs been because of your SH as well?
silentlyxdreaming;; Thanks,i know i need to accept that it isn't my fault,but i feel like i am to blame. I'm her best friend i should be making her do good things,not bad,what kind of friend does that make me?
A bad one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chameleongirl
have her previous ODs been because of your SH as well?
Most of them have been when she found out i self-harmed,or i was in a bad way.A couple have actually
Yes,they have,either when she found out i self-harmed(when she's literally pulled my sleeves up and checked my legs in her house),or when i was in a bad way.
She's also cut herself a couple of times on her hands,and told her mum it was accidental.
Chicken, she really sounds like she may have other things going on aswell, as she does sound very low within herself.
Can you maybe contact her mum or even her, via phone or mobile?
It is a really horrible situation to be in, but I really think that there may be more to this than first meets the eye.
You are not a bad friend, I will repeat what I said before -
You are not the worst friend, you are struggling and that doesn't make you a rubbish friend, it just means that you are in need of some support, that's all. Doesn't make you a bad friend at all!
Have you heard anything yet.
Take care.
xxxxxxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I know your feel this is your fault, but it isnt. if your friend thinks that her doing that will make you stop she really doesnt realise that shes making it worse that way.
you are not to blame and i know shes your friend and you love her and all but what shes doing sounds like such a horrible horrible thing to do, and honestly doesnt sound like a thing a friend who understood would do. honestly it makes her more of a bad friend than her - because as we all know self harm isnt as easy to stop as it appears - if she respected the difficulty your facing or even knew how hard it was then she wouldnt do it. i know if i was in your place her od would actually trigger me to selfharm more!
you did the right thing getting her to hospital, so dont feel bad over that!
talk to her about it - help her understand properly and allow her to know that what shes doing is not ever going to help - threating to od is not a good way, or sane way to help someone else.
