i am sorry for asking for help again, but i don't know whare else to go. really really want to go, i am so tired and i don't think i can fight anymore. i keep telling myself that i shouldn't be thinking of it when i got the children to think about, but then i think how much better they will be without me. please don't tell me that all children need there mummys cos i know that is not true. i have this assesment tommorrow, to see what support i might need, i m so scared, what if they tell me what i think i already know? that i am going mad, and that noone can help me?why do people think i am this strong person that i'm not?
*rocks in corner*
Last edited by cakeybites : 04-02-2008 at 10:43 AM.
Reason: to change label, due to thinks changing
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
*holds tight*
First of all, don't be sorry for asking for help, it's what we're here for, right? =)
I can't even begin to put myself in your position as I have no idea what you may have been through but I can completely empathise with the feeling of wanting to leave, thinking people will be much better off with you.
I'm not going to say that all children need their mummys but I really doubt that, whatever's happened, they will be better off without you. I know it can seem unfair to be living for other people rather than yourself but in all honesty, I think you need each other.
This assesment tomorrow, it could really help you, give you that support that you need. Nobody's going to turn around and say 'you're going mad and we can't help'. Give it a chance. Give THEM a chance to try and help you. Sometimes strength doesn't mean what we think it means. It doesn't have to mean you're some big strong brave person who can do anything and everything and fight the world. It can just refer to that inner strength inside of you that's helping you to keep going, no matter how hard you're finding it....
I'm sorry if I've not made sense or just not helped at all but I'm here if you want to chat...=)
Zed x
Last edited by Zedebee : 30-01-2008 at 03:50 PM.
Reason: spelling
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I'm so sorry your going through a hard time at the moment, I'm going to say that everyone does need there mums but I do think they would miss you if you went away and please do not say sorry for posting again that's what we are here for and we care for you.
The assessment tomorrow will help you and get the support you deserve there is people out there that will help you and feel free to keep posting here. also do not hestate to pm me anytime. Kirsty x
*curls up in ball*
i don't know what to do. i am just so tired of fighting, i tell myself that things will get better, but that never happens. i am so scared about tommorrow, i don't know what they are gonna say, and i just can't get past the feeling that i am past helping. i am so used to people writing me off, and i keep trying, but i don't know if i can anymore. i counted how many tablets today to see how many i had, to see if i had enough, the thought of just going to sleep, and never having this pain anymore is so apealling right now.
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
Sweetheart, it's not always like that. Taking pills, wanting to sleep and never wake up, that very extremely rarely actually works. All that could possibly happen is that you'd become ill and that's not what we want.
I know I have no right to say this but I KNOW what it's like to live like this. Just barel hanging on. But a wise person once told me that 'giving up' doesn't necessarily mean suicide, it just means doing nothing, going with it, accepting what's going on around you.
Please just wait and see what happens with your assesment. I hate saying this but you've just got to keep holding on. I'm here with you, if you need. I just wish I could do more....
xx
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
i used to think that my kids where the think that was keeping me fighting, that i had to keep doing it for them. now i don't even feel like i can do it for them anymore. i wish i was a stronger person who could deal with all this but i'm not. i just have all this pain, inside, and i don't know how to make it go away, nothing i have tried works. i am not sure i have anything left.
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
You do. You do have something. You have your kids. You created them. You've done something so very wonderful. You did that. Surely that's something to be proud of?
You can get through this, I know you can
xx
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
i love my children, but they need more than i can give them, they need a mum who can hold it together for them, a mum who does stuff with them, a mum who is not jealous of all the thinks they have cos noone ever did that for her
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
*hugs you gently*
You can do this, really you can even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I know what it is like to have a mum who struggles sometimes (my mum has been in and out of psychiatric wards and on meds since I was 9) and despite the fact that things were hard sometimes, I would not have changed them for anything and I bet your kids feel the same.
Don't feel guilty for not being able to do everything at once, even mums are allowed to struggle sometimes *hugs*
i keep trying, really i do, but i don't wanna be like this forever, it is too hard, but i can't see how things can ever get any better, it just is all too big. and my kids deserve so much better, i have screwed up so much stuff, i don't want to do it to them too*bangs head*
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
Hello Angel,
You may not feel good enough for your children, but they do need you, You are the one whos held them when they've cried, Looked into their first waking eyes, touched their tiny fingers that have curled round your own. No one can take that away. You may not be perfect, i'm certainly not. My kids don't see the anxious sometimes psycotic person I believe I am, they just see mummy. And Mummy is all they need warts an' all. Be strong sweetheart, You are in my thoughts x
what is the point, when the people who are supposed to help, when you tell them you need help, don't even bother? i went to that assesment for nothing, i was honest, i told them everything, yet they even they think that i am not worth helping, so where does that leave me? the kids will be fine, they have plenty of people to look after them, and who would look after them a lot better than i ever could. i don't have the strenght or the energy to fight on my own, and i have nowhere else to go, i asked for help, and noone thinks i am worth it*shrugs* why did i bother?
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
WE think you're worth it. Surely that means something? I know it's hard but you've got to keep fighting. I hate to sound cliche butwe only live this life once. Please try and concentrate on things that make you happy. Your children. Anything. Grasp onto it and hold it tight. You CAN get through this.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
i tried hanging on to the tought of my kids, but now i just feel like i am falling.
it does mean a lot to me that you guys on here are there for me, i just wosh i could be the strong person that people want me to be, i try, but there is just nothing there anymore. i feel like i am not a person any more, i feel like i am falling apart, and that there is nothing left. nothing to catch me in the end.
i love my children, they mean everthing to me, and i hope that one day they will forgive me, that one day they will see that mummy did fight and really did want to make it for them, but that i just couldn't
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
Hun, I know how tiring it can be to keep on fighting, but you can do this. You can get through this. I really believe you can.
*Reaches out to catch you from falling*
Im here if you want to talk
Love Lora xxx
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst
i have no diagnosis, and the people who assesed me said they couldn't do anything cos it was from what happened to me as a kid, and not something they could 'fix'. they even said there was no point in me taking the antidepressents!!
i don't know what to do, i have this really heavy feeling that this is it for me, that i am gonna be left like this forever. i don't think i can bear that, and i don't want my children to grow up with my stuff over their heads. i try to keep it away from them, but i don't think i am very good at that. i still feel like i should give up, and that things would be much better for everyone concerned.
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
well, as usual i messed up again, and they have now put me under the crisis team again. i walked out of a&e, cos they wanted me to talk to the crisis team, and i was supposed to phone them, but i decided not to. what is the point when they are all telling me that they can't help me? i have had enough.*curls up in ball and wishes to disappear*
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
