How do you improove your self esteem?!

Yume.No.Chikara · 09-06-2007, 05:55 PM

I really don't like myself as a general trend and when i'm not, really not liking myself i am really really really really really hating myself so much that i cannot even begin to express how much i hate myself..........which has really not been helped today and yesterday by people at work asking about my scars!!

So trying to be positive here does anyone have any tips for improoving self esteem?!!

Thanking you,
x

Louise · 09-06-2007, 06:55 PM

This is ten steps on how to bulid your self esteem..I hope it helps.

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.
2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.
3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.
5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)
6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.
7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.
8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice…
9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.
10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

PM me anytime. Take Care...Love Louise xx

Jayda · 09-06-2007, 07:13 PM

Unfortunately self-esteem isn't usually easy to get when you're so low, at least not without some counseling. I know how you feel, I'm in the same spot. Find something you're really good at, something you can do better than others (not SI related) and use that to help build up your self-esteem. Self-esteem won't get much higher until you raise how you view yourself, and that's a hard thing to do. It all works best with a support system, someone to reassure you.

Sorry that wasn't much help. Use Louise's list as well, it will help. Always here if you need to talk.

.lost.the.tin.can. · 09-06-2007, 07:22 PM

I know how you feel hunI really do. I wish I could help you, but I am rubbish with advice on this.... I think that Louise has got some good advice there for you. I just wanted to let you know that I have been through/am going through, the same exact thing. If you ever want to just talk, I am around.
Take care. xx

LittleBabyNothing · 09-06-2007, 07:40 PM

Make a list of all the things you do like yourself, even if it's just something trivial write it down. Focus on those things and think why you like those aspects about yourself, slowly you'll find more and more things that you like and you begin to realise your not so bad afterall.

It also helps if you surround yourself with positive people, if your friends are assholes then drop them.

Good luck.

secrets & lies · 09-06-2007, 08:07 PM

You are an amazing person Liv and I wish that you could see that! Louise has some really good tips there. And as LittleBabyNothing said try writing down all the things you do like about yourself or if you really can't do that I'll write down everything that I think makes you amazing but it's better if you make it yourself. Everytime you think of a negative thing about yourself think of something positive after it, so say you thought you were being slow at you job then make yourself say something like "well at least I've done the job well". That's a rubbish example and I know it sounds abit stupid but it does help! If you're bothered about people commenting about your scars at work could you maybe wear a long sleeve t-shirt under your uniform if you don't get too hot?

You're one of the most generous, kind and caring people I know and I feel extremely lucky to have you as a friend, you know where I am if you want to talk xxx

Yume.No.Chikara · 09-06-2007, 08:56 PM

Thanks guys i will try all that i guess its one of those things that you have to learn....hopefully we will all get there one day!
And LittleBabyNothing - I LOVE your milk bottle....and as you can see i have amazing friends (^^)..i'm definatly lucky there even if they're not so lucky in getting stuck with a nutty old thing like me!!!
Thank you!
x