Triggering (SI) - just want to give in. urge wont stop

[BodyUnderSeige]

ehh
i havnt cut all 2008
but
i just found out that the person who has helped me through like everything since i started SI ing has left work-we work together...she is my supervisor but only a few yrs older. I will still see her has she is a close family friend but it def wont be the same..there will always be other ppl around. so i no we wont talk about any of my ****. shes the only person whos really helped. **** i cant do this without her..ive tried so hard these holidays. i just really want to cut now. so bad. this will all start again.
i hate this i hate everything
i want to be happy so bad.

[Shakespeare's Strumpet]

Can't you set up meetings with her that won't be filled with other people? Talk to her on the phone? I'm sure there are ways for the two of you to still say in close contact.

[sopranonut]

Aw hun, i'm sorry she has left. It's so hard when those that support us and we feel close to leave. I really feel for you. I know it feels like such a huge loss now, but i'm sure that someone else will come along to be a support to you, and if she's a family friend then you can still see each other. As shakespearesstrumpet says can you talk to her on the phone?
I hope you're ok today?
*hugs*

[BodyUnderSeige]

yer it sucks. i can call her but im not the kind of person to call someone heaps as i feel like a burden. she has gone to vietnam for two weeks now. I gave up...i cut again
i couldnt even last the whole month. this is just such a never ending cycle.
thanks for ur replys =] x