Triggering (SI) - Gee, this is strangely familiar...

Shakespeare's Strumpet · 27-01-2008, 09:44 PM

I don't really know what's happening. I mean, I do, but I don't know why. I've been trying to quit for what feels like forever, but has only been a little over two years. Every few months, however, I start back-sliding. The farthest I have ever made it was ten months. Right now, I've made it five, and I think I'm going crazy.

Except this time it's different. I'm sorry if this is a little disorganized. I can't seem to focus. My thoughts are jumping all the time. Sometimes I can be in a completely empty room and I swear I feel like a thousand people are all talking at once.Their all screaming for attention and nothing they say makes sense and everytime I just feel like screaming for them to shut up. I can't focus, and I feel like I'm on the emotional ride from hell.

I'm a writer. I normally get so much release just from writing or reading. It normally is what gets me through the urges and the long months without self harm. But I can't focus, and some days I have a thousand great ideas, and I want to write them all down. I feel like I'm on speed...some days I can't write anything. I can't read anything. The words all blend together.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : SI trigger

I can't talk to my best friend about it. I don't want to let her know it's coming back. I don't know how to explain how this is different...

xformercutterx · 28-01-2008, 04:18 AM

I know what you mean about not being able to concentrate. I'm a writer, too... That's how I used to get rid of my frustrations and depression. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I can get a paragraph written. I'm lucky if I can even get an idea in my head. I so understand how you feel and I wish there was something I could do to help. Maybe you can just sit down and scribble down everything down you think of. I actually started taking some vitamins that help with ADD... I forget what they're called... it's fish oil... wish I could remember the name. If I figure it out and you're interested, I'll let you know. It definitely helped me get my thoughts together and I started even being able to concentrate for stuff I didn't want to do, like homework haha. Also, you might want to look at the types of food you're eating and the amount of exercise you're doing... those also affect your concentration.

Hope I was of some help.

Shakespeare's Strumpet · 28-01-2008, 04:28 AM

I'd be really grateful if you could tell me what it is you've been taking.

On a different note, I just tried to bring it up with my friend when she signed into messenger. She never responded, and signed out. I think I've scared her, or she doesn't know what to say. She's always afraid that I expect her to fix everything. I don't expect her to fix anything, jsut be there.

Riviting · 28-01-2008, 05:12 AM

fish oil is omega 3

ashleighbean · 28-01-2008, 05:22 AM

hey i hope you know that i am here if you need to talk..like you are there for me. i no its hard i am kinda at the same point you are i really hope you get though this safely =)
*hugs*

xformercutterx · 01-02-2008, 12:41 AM

The vitamins are called DHA... they're excellent (I just called to see what it was because I couldn't remember for the life of me!). I hope things are looking up for you!