I'm kind of lonely. I feel like I'm surrounded by a rotten bubble that infects anyone who gets near me. I feel like an entirely different breed of person that once has a reason to be miserable, they take it and run. People I don't even know sense what I am and they stay as far away as possible. My parents don't even bother asking whats wrong anymore. They just roll their eyes saying that I'm wasting my life away being sad. I haven't posted in about a year, but I cried myself to sleep last night harder than ever. I want to crawl out of my skin and live a new life, a fresh start. I don't know. I guess I shouldn't be here. I just got a scholarship to school, which I don't even want to go to, but I'd be stupid to throw it all away. I wish I could drop it all, my name, my family, the fool living inside my head and start a new life somewhere new, something new...I guess I want encouragement, because these stupid dreams are impossible. I need to stop reading depressing novels , I guess, although I do love them. haha.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
Babe you have to believe in yourself. Do you want to be happy? If you truley want happiness you will find it, and perhaps by taking this scholarship it could be a new beginning, a fresh start somewhere new?
I can relate to how your feeling, to how you just want to be someone else, start fresh. You know you can do that. In the future you may decide to go live in a different country, start somewhere fresh where no one knows you. Be yourself, dont try to be anyone different.
Im sure your parents care about you, they are probably just afraid as they dont know how to help you and how to make you feel better.
I hope your ok, and keep posting if it helps.
PM me anytime.
Take care
x x x
[If you think you can win, then you can win. Faith is necessary to victory]
*cuddles you* it seems you are going through a rough time right now and i am really sorry about that,, its good you have been able to post and get some of your thoughts out,, i hope it helped you.
try and do everything you can to help yourself- like not reading the depressing novels! lol,, you may enjoy them but see if it has a different effect on your mood if you don't read them. try doing things you enjoy,, there must be something that you enjoy or can make you smile.
the scholarship is a really great achievement well done! make the most of the opportunities passed your way,, you will regret it otherwise.
i know there are times when you just want to be someone else and get away from everything but you can make it through this,, you can be happy again, you just have to fight against everything that is pulling you down. there are people in this world who care about you,, make the most of them being there for you, talk to them.
look after yourself lovely,, you can pull through this.
well done! make the most of the opportunities passed your way,, you will regret it otherwise.
