Triggering (SI) - Dont know what to do.

[Daydream]

I'm feeling really low. I have this major urge to break my wrist so bad I cant ever use it again. I havent seen my psychologist for about two weeks. That may not seem like a lot to everyone else, but I've been feeling unwell again for the past three weeks. I havent seen my psychiatrist in months. I dont feel like I'm ill enough to see her, even though at times I'm really suicidal and I come so close to self harming. The stress of my schoolwork is really getting to me, and I broke down in tears earlier because I had done two and a half A4 pages of writing in two hours. Again, it may not seem like a lot to everyone else, but while I'm under the stress I am, its a major amount. I had my chance to tell my support worker earlier how bad I've been feeling, but I kept putting it off because I was feeling a little better. Everyone thinks because I'm 8 months free I'm magically all better now. They dont realise how close I am coming to breaking my wrist again. I dont want to go to school tomorrow. I'm just not up for it. Or anything else in fact. For the past three weeks I've been feeling really wiped out. I'm getting bad headaches really easily and I just want to sleep. My flashbacks are getting worse (I have PTSD) and its all I can do to stop myself running away from them when I get them. Sometimes I get so low I figure out a date a method and a place where I could commit suicide, but the feeling comes for a couple of hours at a time, then goes.

I dont know why I'm feeling like this all over again. I dont know what to do.

[Daydream]

Okay, since this is being ignored, I am going to *bump* it back up before I delete it.

[craola]

Hi hun :)

Two weeks sounds like a long time to have not seen anyone, especially if you're struggling so much. It sounds to me like it really is time to ask for help hun, you need to talk to your psychologist and tell him/her you need to see them, if they are the one you are most comfortable with then maybe they are the best one to start with, try to tell them everything, your thoughts, your wishes everything you've been struggling with at the moment. If you're nervous maybe you could print out your original post, your very eloquent and it really gives you a good idea of how you are feeling.
Your psychologist then may be able to help you to get back in contact with your psych and anyone else you may need to talk to. Please please please try not to break your arm. I really can understand how bad these urges can get, but you can beat this, I know you can :)

Take care
Aimee xx

[FORD]

Having never broken a wrist I cant know what this is like - but to me it doesnt sound like a good idea...it might be how you feel know but consider a weeks time if you cant consider long term.

In my experience it is better to seek help sooner than later - the longer you leave it the harder it is to get back to the right place...

Talk to us and dont let the urges beat you

FORD

[alienshe_cheesycake]

Aww. I'm totally understanding of where your coming from. *hugs*
I'm in a kind of similair situation to you.
It's hard when only you realises how low your feeling. The only thing I can say is when you get these urges (you say they last for a few hours) just try to remember that they will go away. Just try to distract yourself the best you can, and maybe show your pyhcologist your post.

I think it explains pretty well how your feeling.
I seriously feel for you so much right now because I'm in the same boat.
Feel like everythings going to hell and nobody notices but me.
Just hang in there , if you wanna PM me feel free

xxxxxxxxxxx