Triggering (SI) - Help

[battlekitten]

Just, help please.

I managed to go a more than a month living with the f*cking urges every day and I ignored them even thought they tore me up inside. Then I gave in last weekend. Fine, everyone slips. Only now I have to get through those first days all over again. I've already failed once. I've already done something tonight and now I'm sitting here tool in hand daring myself to do more, worse, wishing I could cry but I can't. I just don't want to feel like this anymore I'm so f*cking sick of it. Always swallowing down feelings every day because I know once I start to let them out nothing will be enough 'till I cut and even that wont get rid off them. It might make them quieter for a while, generally only with the liberal addition of alcohol as well, and the next they'll come back. And the next time I cut it'll have to be more, more each time and never enough.

I don't know why I'm posting, I don't know what I need and I know that so many people are going through hard times lately and I don't want to make things worse but I'm desperate. I've been trying to hold myself together alone for so long now and I can't do it any more, I just want some help. Please.

[Snorkmaiden]

I'm sorry honey, I really wish I knew what to say to help you. All I can say is you're soooo not alone and I genuinely do know how you feel. Well done for making it over a month, you've done it once so you know you can do it again. And even if you don't get any practical advice from this post, maybe it helps just to know someone cares enough to answer?
Stay safe x
*Hugs*

[snoopdragon]

i know how you feel i went about two months without cutting and then gave in to the urges and had to start over again i know the first week is the hardest and the only advice i can give you is find one reason not to give in again ihope this helps you and i wish i had more to say

[battlekitten]

Thanks for your replies guys, it means a lot to me.

xxx

[blondiebear]

I last SI'd just one week ago. I know how hard it is to not just go ahead and do it again and again.
Can we help each other through those awful times. I'm here! PM me if you want.
*Looks to see if you need a bandage. Gives you a hug."