Phobias triggering Schizophrenia

WelshWitch79 · 17-01-2008, 01:51 PM

I have the most bizarre phobia - spontaneous combustion. I remember reading about it when I was a kid in those mysteries books and it scared the **** out of me. It followed me into adulthood. Its an irrational fear and something that I know doesnt happen, as I know about the science and scientists know its a load of rubbish.Read up loads about it .
Anyways, a couple of years ago, I believed it was going to happen to me sooo bad. I had increased stomach acid and felt like my stomach was burning. thats the trigger. Since then, I went into a mad psychosis, believed I was the next person it was going to happen to. Had all these voices in my head saying I was going to die like that. It got worse when I was in a sleepy/trance state and I heard a voice saying I would die like that. Since then I have heard voices. While I have overcome the irrational fear, the voices still remain. I know I was delusional, and I am better now, But I still hear sounds and voices that sound like people saying I am going to die like that. The other night I heard what sounded like " it will happen to you",whether it was a sound or voice I dont know. I was tired.
Please dont laugh. This has been a living hell for the past two years and I hope someone can help.
I have read about psychosis, and I know the voices I hear say the same thing, but it sounds so real, and I dont know what to think.There were times after the intial voice I felt suicidal.I know they are auditory hallucinations, because they are always about the same thing. Also hear voices saying that I am going to die.
Before the delusion, I had brought up two children close together ( 15 months apart) and had suffered with post natal depression.
Everytime I read about schizophrenia and schizotypal disorder I believe I have one of those. I have had delusions with the hallucinations. Dont see things, mainly hear things. I try to explain to my partner that the voices are so real.
At times I thought why me?
I know schizophrenia can be due to lack of oxygen when born, I was born blue and did not breath when born.
I used to make things up in my head years ago and believe my imagination. I would have to take severe reality checks.

Please can someone help! Not something I would tell people, feel ashamed about the subject of the fear, but man it scared me when I was a kid.
Hope anyone can help.

lol

xxx

Alone and Scared · 17-01-2008, 02:41 PM

Firstly, I didn't laugh.
Secondly, you souldn't feel alone.
Have you spoken to a Doctor or someone about the way that you are feeling and the voices??

xxxxx

WelshWitch79 · 17-01-2008, 02:51 PM

Not yet. To be honest its nice to get fear out in the open. Im not too bad now but 2 years ago, I thought i was being spoken to by demons/spirits etc. even though I am not religious. I was so scared them saying I was going to burst into flames. Thankyou for understanding. I felt ashamed, think people would laugh. I know it is my mind. Before I let the fear take hold of me I never heard any voices, I am aware of the trigger. Yet I still get the voices saying it will happen to me, you'll die etc and they are as real as someone saying it to me. I do have negative thoughts too, but these voices sound real. I dont want to be given anti psychotics tho, thats why I thought talking would help. My Hubby and mum have been rocks to me. So nice to chat with people who understand.xxx

Alone and Scared · 17-01-2008, 02:55 PM

If I thought that something in your mind was something that I could laugh at..... then everyone should laugh at me.

The things that are in our minds, are sometimes the worst things possible - because they are SOOOO real, although we *know* they are not.

I'm 18 by the way.

There may be other ways other than anti psychotics.... such as therapy, or someone who may be able to suggest ways to help you.xxxxxxx

WelshWitch79 · 17-01-2008, 05:59 PM

Hopefully hun. Thats why Im so glad Ive found this site. I hope people who endure the same thing can help and I can help them.
Its so frightening when I hear voices saying Im going to die of my fear or just Im going to die, doesnt help. I know its my mind, as I started getting paranoid and thinking real people were saying it to me.
Any help would be great.
Ive managed to get over first hurdle of telling this to everyone, hope people can understand. Think I have a irrational fear that has just way got outta hand.

xxx

Alone and Scared · 19-01-2008, 11:04 AM

Hey,
I hope that there is someone on here who can help you out and chat to you, with similar patterns to you.
I think that you should be very proud of yourself for posting on here to be honest. It's a MAJOR step for you.

xxxxxxxxxxx

peccatophobia · 19-01-2008, 11:47 AM

hi i know wat you mean and its true you eint alone and i think you is brave too ,people are kind on hear so its bean or is good for i ,i have bean daiagnosed whith 3 forms of scitofreinia the worse kind i menshion not they names people run along side of condishions ,well im passing on a hug to you and tell you you eint alone

WelshWitch79 · 21-01-2008, 01:35 PM

Thankyou. I feel so much better getting this out in the open. As I said before my phobia took told of me, when I was depressed - I was fine. Obviously it has sparked something off in my brain. I hope some people understand and can help. Sometimes you question what is real and what is not, what is generated in our own brains. Believe me I am much better now, but would like to chat with people who have had similar experiences with Phobias, rational or irrational.

peccatophobia · 21-01-2008, 01:54 PM

hi again

i can relait to you ive had to ban visitors and have only two freinds my phone numbers i chainge all time evry time it rings it sends me into well not rashional put it that way i dont talke to no one as im piking out only wat i hear and geting so paronoid and it afects me i carnt eat food as its going threw me im my head is saying leve me im a secret ive had a very bad weekend and i miss guge what people say im making a prat of my self i hope you find that others do have same probs as i felt so alone befor this site

WelshWitch79 · 21-01-2008, 02:08 PM

Tis true. You do feel getting your problems out in the open much better. Think when we are alone in the prison of our minds, it is much worse. we want to reach out for a helping hand but we are scared that people will judge us and be critical.I love this website and feel much better. Thought I was weird having an irrational fear of spontaneous combustion, hardly a fear of heights etc lol. I dont have any fears other than that but I guess we can have fears with anything. It just shows how fears can triggers things in our brain. As I said I have to take severe reality checks, making things up in my head and believing I have done them. Anyone else have this too?