Graphic / Triggering - (-.-)

Arohnr · 08-06-2007, 05:09 PM

Hope I picked the right label.

If I didn't, its just another fvck up.

I wanna cut, to the bone. I wanna watch myself bleed out. Stuck a needle in but couldn't register, am I that pathetic. I'm cutting 3924734378 times a day..mom keeps finding my blades, taking them away. Ha, you only steal more. Stupid fvckin kleptomaniac. At work I can't get my mind off images of slitting my whole goddamn body open. I would, but they won't let me work with wounds on my lower arms. Those little veins in your wrist..I want them mangled. Would I bleed to death? I liked the feeling of passing out..slipping away peacefully into death. Too bad I didn't make it there last time. I want blood. Am I emo? Stare at it dripping down my body..bathe in it. I should still be in the loony bin. If my mom lets them know how many blades she keeps finding, I'll end up in there again. If they inspect me, they'll find the 938473 cuts on my thigh. Why do you do this Matthew. I'm insane, everyting fvcks with my head. Fckign kill yourself already. I can't end up in the psych ward again. Can't. Maybe they'll just throw me in a day program..

Nobody ****ing understands GID. Mom lost your papers so as far as they know you have no diagnosis. Laugh now. MUAHAHAHA MATTS A LAZY DEPRESSED SUICIDAL SON OF A BITCH.

Fvck zoloft.
Fvck people.
Fvck Matthew.

Go lay in my box now..my nice..warm..wooden..box....with lining..

Nobody can help me.

wicked · 08-06-2007, 05:21 PM

please stay safe.
i dont really know what to say.
sounds like hell.
aim if you want to talk --> allieinc

revenge · 08-06-2007, 05:44 PM

im really sorry...
i dont know what to say either..
but if you keep believing nobody can help you, then i dont think anyone will be able to...
but i honestly don't know if you want help...

btw i know what you mean about the images of blood and stuff, sometimes i picture myself cutting every part of me and wish i could do it...

you're not alone, ok?
be safe <3

Arohnr · 08-06-2007, 05:54 PM

If I thought someone would help me for once I'd go for it. Honestly I want to fcking end it before it gets worse, half of me wants to see it get worse and punish myself more. If I don't want help..why don't I die already.
I know I wanna feel human again but that's a lost cause. I wish I could cut deeper. Its hard to get up, hard to force myself to do anything anymore. At work I go mad not being able to si for hours. So I just fvck up closing and get bitched at some more.

I'm sorry. I tend to leave people speechless.

wicked · 08-06-2007, 09:57 PM

it just sounds like complete hell. are you seeing anyone, or taking meds?

Arohnr · 09-06-2007, 04:55 AM

I'm on zoloft and my first appointment with the shrink is tuesday.