Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Terrified...and an apology.

[pea soup]

first i want to apologize for not replying to you guys lately.
i just dont know what to say.....but i do read and think of you. im really sorry.

now....the flashbacks are continuing. its like i cant get any rest from them.
my body hurts all the time.
and im always on guard for when the next one may be.

tomorrow is my father's birthday.
he would have been 55.
i never missed one of his birthdays.
i always called even if we werent speaking at the time.
this year i have no one to call.

everything is so confusing. the flashbacks were caused by him and yet i miss him so much. i miss the dad i knew before i was 7. i miss the good parts of him.

im just really hurting inside and out. i dont know which is worse.

thanks for reading.
love to all.
xxxxxxxxx

[black_vortex]

I cant imagine how difficult this is. I dont even have an words of advice. But i wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts. Take care dear *hugs*

[crazykat]

You do not need to apologise, you need to look after yourself and thats ok. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care of yourself
Kat xxx

[Mandimoo]

love you rach, lean on us and those around you. right now you need support, are you seeing any kind of therapise right now? love you, msis you mand x

[Pomegranate]

hey hun, don't worry about not replying as much, concentrate on feeling better yourself *hugs*. I hope things are getting a bit easier for you.
Emma x