My mood has dropped so low. I knew this was coming. I havent felt this bad for some time now. I hate this, i wish i could just be happy. That's all i want.. happiness.
Im so close to giving up. Im hurting so much right now, i can't even describe to you how much pain im feeling. I just wana die. I wish I could just fade away and disappear. I feel really unsafe. I don't know what to do.. i cant stop thinking about just ending it all. I can't talk to my mum about how im feeling cus she has no idea that i self harm or even have suicidal thoughts. We don't get on anyway. I have no one to talk to about this. My counsellor says that i can ring or text her anytime i want to, but i feel guilty about doing that because she does have a life outside counselling. Im hesitant to text her 2day cus i know its her day off. I don't want to be telling her im all suicidal when she may be busy with her own family.
I feel so.. dead? inside.. not real. Im here physically.. but im not here, if that makes sense. I don't even know why im posting this to be honest, im wasting your time now aswell. Sorry. :(
[If you think you can win, then you can win. Faith is necessary to victory]
You're not wasting our time by posting. We care about you! I'm so sorry that your in so much pain! I wish I knew what to tell you. Please hold on, as difficult as that is, it is worth it, and you can do it! We want you here! Please take care of yourself. You can PM me anytime!
*cuddles*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger?
I won't be on RYL much right now because I'm REALLY triggered, but I'm safe... so don't worry...
Oh babe :(
I can relate totally to your feelings. It reminds me of how I was a year or so ago.
And when I say a year or so ago, it proves that things can change. Time is a healer.
Would you like for your mum to know about this? Maybe have your councellor tell your mum on your behalf?
I wish I knew why you were feeling like this, and I hope that things start to look up for you soon.
Take care <3
hey hunni *hugs*
i wish i knew what to say to you, i really should because i feel like that a lot but im kind of at a loss for words right now. the best advice i can give you is to talk to someone, anyone, text your councillor, or keep posting here or you can pm me if you like.
im sure you know this but you wont always be feeling like this. moods pass.
i hope you feel better soon hun
x x x
It must be really hard for you right now. It's awful feeling that way. I don't know how you feel (exactly) because I would never take my life, it seems to barbaric for me, but anyway. I just hope that you can get through this tough period and that you can start to live again. I always find distractions a good help as to stopping myself SIing and as for the suicidal thoughts hmmm... try writing everything good down in a list (I know it's hard), get as many things as you can, get friends to help, and then stick this list on the wall and look at it and read it and when you do feel that you have something to live for. Feel that you have those things to live for, to strive for. I hope things improve for you and that you can get past this rough period.
Lots of Love
Amethyst
I remember the darkness I once felt, cold, alone, no-body else, RYL helped me see the light, to look on past my teenage plight, It took my hand, and held me tight, helped me get through those sleepless nights.
I hope that I can stay cut free,
for once and all I want to be me,
I hope that you can be free too,
so I send my love and hope to you.
First of all you aren't wasting anyones time by posting thats what were all here for to support each other though the hard times. In fact if it helps you keep posting. I am sorry that you are going though such a hard time atm but things can and will get better. I would advise you to contact ur councellor she wouldn't have given you her number if she didn't want you to contact her, so don't feel bad. If you can't do that keep talkin to us or you could click on live help and talk to someone on there. Also try and keep busy and distract yourself; I find the RYL game arcade helps and the fun and distractions forum helps too. Maybe you could do something nice for yourself too; like take a bath, go for a walk, watch a movie whatever you enjoy really. PM me if you wanna talk. Take care of yourself and keep fighting
lots of hugs kat
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
As others have said, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I know that when you're feeling like you are, happiness can seem unattainable, but honestly - it's not. You can get through this; believe in yourself.
Don't give up. Live is never bad enough to give up - no matter what happens, things always have the potential to look up, and they can and will get better.
If you're feeling suicidal, keep yourself away from anything that could put you at risk. Please try and tell your mum about this; I know it's hard, but even if you don't get on I'm sure she cares about you and wants the best for you. Also, if you do tell her about how you're feeling, she may be able to help keep you safe and away from harm.
Please don't feel like you have nobody to talk to. For a start, RYL is always here. Post as much as you need to. I can understand that you don't want to bother your counsellor, but I'm sure she cares a great deal about you and wants you to be safe - if she's told you that you can text / call her, then she probably really does mean that.
Take care of yourself. I'm around if you need a chat.
your not wasting your counsellors time, shes there to help you no matter what day what time. PLease keep safe and get in touch with your counsellor she can help you thats what shes there for. xx
