Triggering (SI) - im scared!

[bleeding soul]

im really upset right now, i've been crying forever, now im just numb and this is when i cut. so i got on here to write about it so maybe it would help so far, it isnt.
i am so scared of myself. I AM my biggest fear. as you probably know already i have been a cutter for over 5 years. well now when i cut i sorta black out. if that makes any sense. i wake up with cuts on me sometimes in my room sometimes in the bathroom floor, it scares me. all i remember is sitting down and doing it once, but when i wake up they are everywhere. i know you probably think i am completely insane but its true. so i am my biggest fear becuz i have no idea what i am capable of. i dont know what damage i can do becuz im not there (really) when im doing the damage.
so what do i do? someone please answer this, please!

[what_the?]

you need to tell someone in 'real' life, away from RYL.
If you really feel that unsafe get down to A & E I know this is probably the last thing that you want to hear, and it's not the nicest thing in the world to do, but in the long run it will help.......
Stay safe
Claire

[that faery kid]

i agree with claire
it sounds like you could be a danger to yourself, you should try talking to an adult you trust.
that sounds so scary honey, i know what its like to not have control of yourself like that. im so sorry you have to go through this.

feel free to pm me any time if you need to chat, rant or just need someone to listen.

take care.
christine.

[zivalover16]

My doctor just told me that some cutters develop personality disorders ( such as split personality) Sounds like thats whats happening with you. i would go talk to someone if you haven't already

[DUNFERMLINEBOY]

Hi there,

Nobody thinks that your insane, but you obviously have a condition that by the sounds of it could be very serious! Whereas on here we can give you words of encouragement and listen, and be concerned I would STRONGLY ADVISE THAT YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR G.P.! The scenario you describe sounds like it has the potential to be very serious! Once you've been to the doctor let us know how that you've got on, we will be here to listen, but please seek advice!

[here-for-the-journey]

Hey baby it's OK *cuddles* you're not insane honey you're just hurting really badly inside and it's obviously too much for your mind to deal with.

You do need to talk to someone about this. Yes it should be your GP but if that's too scary then a close friend or relative. They could come to the doctors with you and hold your hand.

Crying is 100% OK... I'm struggling crying at the moment too, I know what you mean about feeling numb.

It will get better honey, I promise *hugs*
xxx

[bleeding soul]

thank you guys for all your help! i really appreciate it!